sing with me; ell-ohh-vee-eee

I COMMAND YOU TO RISE, MY DEAR BLOG:(

2009-11-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

Wahaho. Gyeeeah, my blog's deead. I can see that, HAHA.

Nevermind! I shall revive it during the hols^^
Decided to change my blogskin, well. It's still under construction tho,

trying to figure out how to put in em cbox-.-
Haha, irritating. But it seems nicer in this way la huh:)

So,

EXAM'S OVER BABY^^
(i'm veh well aware of it, i knw it was like, last week? HAHA!)

Imma, talk more bout it tomorrow alright:) Now, i'm just too lazy

to talk nee further. My eyes are bugging me to sleep.

And look and that ohh so horrible eye bags and panda eyes:(

I'm so gonna turn into an unglam vampyre soon,

Minus the fangs. Minus the thirst for blood. Minus the longg nailsD:

2PM's incomplete

2009-09-13T02:59:00.000-07:00

Different people has ways of venting out their anger. Or getting rid of the sadness that washes

in em. They might say mean things that they don't mean. And it might eventually

hurt someone, but. Do they TRULY mean it? Do YOU, netizens mean it

when you spit out bad things to someone when you're feeling angry? No one's perfect in this

world, and that includes the actresses, singers, politicians, lawyers, whoever. Even

us normal people-like you & me, aren't perfect. Tell me someone who's

24/7 perfect-who doesn't commit nee sins, who doesn't swears or cuss, who doesn't

hurt others? Bullshit. Tell me which human being doesn't? Hello,

it's a part of being human for crying out loud. `Less, you're telling me you're

ain't a human, then that's a whole different story. They say, mistakes are our best teachers.

Why? We eventually learn from it, and not do it again. It's normal to make

mistakes, ofcourse it's unexcusable when you keep doing it

again & again. Tell me, do you see Jae doing it, NOW?

Do you see him bashing it on his myspace, NOW? Plus, it was four years ago daamit,

who goes bac and dig other people's past and broadcast it to everyone-.-

We concentrate on the present & the future, but never the past. What's past,

has passed. Leave it alone, it has no reason to be mentioned now,

in the present and in the future. Yes, he might have said something rude,

but he's truly sorry for it. He sacrificed his time, his beauty sleep, his privacy for us,

for his fans. He manned up, and took the decision to leave 2PM.

I hope, those netizens who did these,

sit down and reeeally, reeeally think of their actions. They must be feeling insecure of em`

selves to have done this horrible and foolish actions.

Jae, pleaseee come bac, for us fans, especially for 2PM.

2PM consists of 7 members, not 6 members.

When one's missing, when one spot's empty,

when there's one voice lacking,

then 2PM isn't full, 2PM isn't complete.

Pleasee, be strong, pleasee come bac.

Loves,

all of 2PM'S fans-HOTTEST.

What now?

2009-09-03T02:06:00.000-07:00

Fcuk it.

5 MORE FREAGGIN WEEKS

(INCLUDING ONE WEEK HOLS)

TO EXAM.

Hah, what the fcuk?

I need a miracle. Like, NOW:(

2009-08-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'M GOING ALL BONKERZ NOW,

CAUSE MY C.ZEN JUST BOM ME, THE SCREEN TOTALLY CRACK

TILL CANNOT SEE NEE`THING.

FREAGGIN, FREAGGIN FISH`STICKS!

HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA LIVE ONE DAY W/O MUSIC?!

HOW THE BLOODY HELL AM I GONNA GET ANOTHER ONE? HOW THE

HELL AM I GONNA CONVINCE DADDY/MOMMY

TO HELP ME?!

HOW BLOOODY LONGG CAN I TAHAN, SINCE MY FONE'S ALSO BEING A REAL

BITCH AND A FREAGGIN PAIN THE ARSE.

IDIOT.

SIBEY SUEY.

JIA LAT.

Road to destruction

2009-08-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

Now i know.

I even sorta figured it out myself before.

Now i know, it's true.

Let's begin this war of mine, let's begin the starvation. I know,

you LOVELIES will be saddened to see this.

Don't waste your time on me, can? Cause this thing won't be

going off my mind for a longg time.

I'm sorry, how can i listen to you guys,

wheni can't even listen to myself. When i can't even talk myself

thru the problem, when i my mind is having a mind on it's own. And when

i'm a loser compared to that voice in my head. I'm a slave to that

voice in my head. I'm a bloody coward.

I can't even fight that voice.

I'm just gonna let it take over me, and lead me to being skinnier.

Thanks LOVELIES.

For your support, tissues, heartful advices, and not forgetting,

being the nicest, most awwwsome-est friends.

Why can't i be born slim already? :(

2009-08-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

Kristen Stewart is so eefin hot and slim.

And she's soo gonna be my inspiration, i wanna have

a body like hers, wanna have hair-curls, colour, length-like hers.

Nevermind, fathiirah shall eat a lilttle for

her morning breakfast, then around 1915++, when all muslims are

allowed to eat, i'll eat a little only. Must drink more water instead of eating

foods.

I can do it, no more big miss, it's time to make room for lil, pretty

missy.

Kamsahamnidaa^^

2009-08-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

Today was nothing but,
FUN, FUN, FUN AND MORE AWWWWSOME
AWWWWSOME LAUGHTERS^^

Love you deareast MengLi and Maria. Haha, went to watch Up. Okaaay laa, was

sweeet, veh heart warming:) Haha, the kid was daaamn cute, lols.

Then headed to Bugis, pei maria go get her backpack, then walk`walked around,

and i bought one dress?:) Haha! Atleast, for the FIRST TIME i

succeded to talk myself to not over spent lor, and i did pretty well, i bought

only one dress:) That's a good start. Then, money spanked

byebye to me:( Haha, but worth it laa, cause went to have our lunch+dinner

at SakaeSushi. And the bill was a whooping 52.95^^ Haha!

Ate our hearts out laa, lols. I ate till my tummy felt like exploding. Maria was like, 'Slowwly eat,

don't waste, buffet le.:)'

Haha! First time eating that much-.- And, i seeriously felt like purging it all out.

I hate the feeling of 'full', cause it makes me feel fat. And, i guess

i've gained weight:( And, i seeriously have to save money, wanna get me ipod

classic, and i'm aiming for one more dress, THAT DRESS D: //Hur hur

Nevermind! Maybe i'll save money then, by the end of the year, i'll prolly get

my ipod first then my dress (and maybe more clothes!^^). Or, i'll get me ipod classic maybe by next few months then my ipod classic by the end of the year?:)

And, talked to mommy bout the bed that i wanted, and she's considering to get

for me birthday next year, gyeeeeah;)

I HAVE/NEED to shop, seeriously D:

2009-08-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

Gahh! Viewing all those clothes on blogshops are

soooooo tempting me to go shopping!

Freakin fugg, i have to shop!

I SEEEERIOUSLY HAVE/NEED TO GO SHOPPING!

But, CA's are around the corner D: How?:(

Fine!

I shall study, extra, extra hard for CA. Then i'll show mommy and daddy

my goody good awww`some grades, than i am,

FINALLY FREE TO GO SHOPPING!

JANNA PHUA! I WANT MY SHOPPING KHAKI TO BE FREE

AFTER CA!

I seeriously have to study veh, veh diligently. Die, die must survive.

All for my clothes and hair products, right?:(

Life isn't fair, i wished i had more money in my hands:(

I wished i was super duper smart-just roughly read thru the text/notes,

and have super good memories to save all in my mem. card:( But i'm not like that:(

Nehmind!

I SHALL NOT GIVE UP! JUST BEAR FOR A FEW DAYS/MONTHS.

Study hard, work hard, all the hardwork will pay off, right?:(

Study like mad-24/7, day/night, sunny/rainy/thunderstorm/drought,

and when you put in aaaaalot of effort, it'll show thru the work. And you'll get good grades.

Then, you're free to shop, just remember;

'it starts off veh sian, and veh hard. But when you exceled it, all the

wonderful thing is in your hands.'

Jiayou me:(

And, oooh, ooh. Due to my 'promise' to study hard *rolls eyes.

I might not be blogging that much nee`more,

sorry:(

After CA's gyeeeah?

Loves!^^

Bring it on

2009-08-05T04:12:00.000-07:00

Fathiirah's one tough bitch. Not a single soul can
bring her down or tear her apart.
She'll never break down in front of em, she'll fight bac
if she's forced too. No one can ever step on her head neemore.

fatssss`awayyyyy

2009-08-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

I'm sticky. I'm yucky. I'm smelly.

Me oooey, and me guweeee D: Just came bac

from jogging.

19:11PM

And i hate you Rinaldi, gyeeeah, you.

You made me do these, you made me wrote your name

out. You're too much already.

One last, final warning.

If you're gonna open that hole in your mouth again,

and spout that sentence again,

you're gonna regret it,

i too, may regret doing it, cause it'll be my

first time hurting someone.

No, i ain't gonna murder you, you're gonna get

a nice red line, that has all my 5 fingers

on it, try me.

On strike!

2009-08-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

Amierah dint came school today.

Well, almost half the class dint came school today.

Two was sent home;

Derek&TingTing. Awwww<3

Guysssss, take care of yourself alright? D:

Can't afford to miss school this week, next week already

english CA.

Jia you, i wish you hunks/babes a speeedy recovery.

Bloody shit-.-

I think i've put on weight laa,

i seem chubbier:(

Don't care liao, i'm gonna go on hunger strike, till

the 20th.

(cause fasting will start this month, on that date^^)

Obsessed

2009-07-27T00:53:00.000-07:00

Okaaaay. It's official.

I'm sooo gonna get mommy to buy for me those straighteners-.-

Why are my post all related to hair?

Good question^^

CAUSE I CAN'T STOP WATCHING

TUTORIALS ON MULTIPLE HAIRSYLES BY

VARIOUS PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE.

Ahh, now that's my second obsession^^ Haha!

Told mommy, she asked me

to go get ready cause she bringing me to watsons

to go check the price first, but..

Unfortunately, i feel veh, veh sleepy and tired now.

Awwwwww D:

C'mon baby<3

2009-07-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

To think of it.

Can say, i cut my babies quite regularly, lols?

Haha, like, maybe, just maybe..

say, 6-9 months?

I'll cut it? No wonder it takes longg time for my babies

to grow longger-.-

Haha! Awwww, babies<3>

D: Well, look on the bright side, at least by cutting, all your

bad sisters(split ends) are out..

Riight?D: Okay.

Here's the deal, i won't cut you guys no more okay?

Well, at least, not for now.^^

I want my babies to grow longg and super pretty:D

Then, when it's longger, i get to play

wit you babies, and maybe, just maybe.

I'll consider to curl you guys?^^ Jap curls!!!

Haha, JapCurls look super duper sexy, flowwwwy and nice

sia D:

Nehmind! I'll wait till you babies are longger!

Against all odds

2009-07-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

Watching reality shows;

The Biggest Loser.

Gives me the extra spark to

want to help people wit weight issues.

Lols, i know it may sound funny

hearing this from a 14 year old girl. I've been

from the disgusting, hideous big sized ogre

to standing where i am now.

I don't know,

i've yet to choose whether i wanna be

a psychiatrist, a chef or a fitness mentor-someone

that can coach an obese person.

I have the passion for helping people out.

If i were to be a psychiatrist, i could listen to people's

problem, and find a solution to help em out.

I could lighten their burden of misery and stuffs

If i were a chef,

i could make Saturday a day where only orphans, or those needy

people can come.

Cause there'll be foods for free for em^^

If i were a fitness mentor, i'll help them

achieve their goal, their ideal weight.

Oooh pleaseeee

2009-07-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Oooh daddddddy!

Can, you pleaseee, pleaseee get me this?D:

Oooh pleaseeeeeeee!

I need/want it baaaaadly:(

*SobsSobs

I don't give a shiiit if alot of people has it.

I don't give a shiiit if

it's like,

'Sooo last season-.-'

I don't give a shiiitD: ReeeallyD:

It's like,

Wowwwwwwwww?

At least i can view my scandals

better?D:

Can see em sing&dance-

Biggg`Bangg, 2PM, SHINee, DBSK, SuJu.

Better then my zen x-fi?

Screw it man, i seeeriously want this baby:(

BabyBaby<3>

I'll come and buy you, soon:(

I hopeD:

(Btw, Rain's Love Story is daaaaaaaamn sweet

& niiiiice^^)

Picking up the Piecess

2009-07-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

Lols, sometimes.

I sit and think, hah. Wouldn't it be

better if were fat like last time? Ugly like last time?

I know below these i promised myself i won't be all emo,

and all saddy, sad, sad.

Lols, well, i'm not in a bad mood neither am i sad.

^^ Lols.

It's just, sometimes, i wonder.

Haha, wouldn't it be better if i were

how i used to be last time?

(physically different)

I don't have to put up wit all these boyfs issues.

All these crying and 'i hate him'

moments.

Naw, now i'm good^^

Just trying to heal the wound now.

Haha.

Well, all i maybe want is..

To be able to live my life, and be happy all

day.

Look, i'm only fourteen for crying

out loud?

I want to be able to not

have these feeling of, "Shooot. I want a boyf, daaaaammit!"

I just want to be, me.

To be happy, and stuffs.

Maybe boyfs not, maybe later?

When i'm older and wiser.

emo? no waaaaay!

2009-07-19T01:47:00.000-07:00

I've finally, or maybe^^ figured out life's to short

to sit at one corner and think, think, think aaaaand think bout

what others say bout you.

Or to sit and cry and cry and be all down

and all gloomy.

Why 'fill' your time by being all emo?

By being all sad?

From now onwards, fathiirah will laugh off everything.

She'll not waste her time being so

negative and saddy sad, sad^^

She would not let those 'idioooots'

ruin her goal.

Heads high, chest out(well, not soooo out:D)

look smart(and be smart too!^^)

First step to being confident.

Jiayou fathiirah!

Parody, parody

2009-07-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

Yess, yess, yesssss.

I haven't been posting much entries.

I can figure that out myself, haha. Too lazy to^^

Wanted to go beach and

find inspiration to write lyrics for

music pro`jackyyy.

Doing a parody on TouchMyHands

by David A.

But, then. I ate fanchoy, and

m&m's peanut, and that got me a lil

jumpy, haha.

Cause it's superrrr duperr fattening?D:

Nehmind!

I'll shall go jogging later!

Should i? Should i?!!

Gahh, the thought just give me

paiseyyy goosebumps haha^^ Even tho

i've been jogging alone for like, alot of times? Haha.

Yes, yes! Tomorrow, there's PE!

Yesssaaaaa, can exercise, run around,

can shred off some weight:D

Unfortunately, i'm gonna sweat then,

and i tend to sweat alot. Yes, aaaaalot-.-

Shooot!

Where's my handy poem brain when i need it?!

Where's the side of me that's a poet?!

Yo, come out, come out!

Performance is gonna be next week, i need my poet self

A.S.A.P

Inspiration? Pleaseee come wit my poet self like,

NOWWWWWWWWW-.-

Morning sleepyheadss^^

2009-07-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Yes! I'm still up, and awake^^

Haha, well, mainly cos of one reason.

I slept early today, woohoo~
Lols! Well, was watching tele at daddy's room,

then dozed off around 1900++?

Huhu, then woke up around 2215 or something?

Couldn't get bac to sleep, so i decided to finish up D&T and

dig for some Biggg`Bangg new songs and fotos:D

Awwww, i want Biggg`Bangg to come bac to Korea! I want

em to sing Korean songs, not Japanese songsD:

I know, they're somewhat the same,

but to me, the difference is

there.

Nevermind! I shall be a nice and understanding V.I.P

(what they call em fans^^)

I shall support em in whatever route they choose,

BIGGG`BANGG FIGHTING!

oorin biggg`bangg

2009-07-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

Gave school a missed today.

Wasn't feeling very well,

stupid headaches are freaggin killing me,

plus went home at bout 0000++ yesterday?

I mean, today.

So, had not enough sleep,

had a seeeriusly bad headache

is seeeriously not fun-.-

Haha, no idea why

i feel like taking up classes

that offers Korean Language^^

One of em reasons, is

i wanna be able to sing along to

Biggg`Bangg, 2PM, SHINee, DBSK, SuJu

and all other bunch of K-Bands.

Now, i'm just either humming it, or either

saying the words by listening to it

without even knowing whether i'm right:P

And other, cause i'm curious?

Heeeello, the way they talk/say it,

is sooo freaggin cool!

And, i think 2PM is by far,

korean boyband that's damn good in dancing.

I mean, i think all of em

members a dancers turned singers?

Ohhhh Emmmmm Geeee. .. .

T.O.P is super dee duper doo handsome

in D.IS.C.O

*blushes

Awwwww, haha.

Headache

2009-06-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

Second day of school peeeeps.

Any boyyyyyyy, sibey lucky-.- there's no

Mt.

For a hundred and one reasons,

i dreaded going for Mt classes. I'll often

tend to drag myself in.

Amierah probably knows why,

haha!

Riiight, riight? *winkswinks;D

Day started off wit Hist; which is dead

awwwwsome^^

Then continued wit Maths. I'm sibey silly

for not bringing maths book.

Damn stupid right? Then kena copy from page 14-18

onwards, okaaaaay laa.

MsPhua discounted us, if it weren't for the discounts,

it'll be a whoooole lot moooooore-.-

Ahh, i have yet to start on my Art.

Fugggg shiiit. I swear, i hate Art just cause of

MdmTeo-.- Thaaanks muuuch?

I'm still considering whether i should pass up

on thurs, even tho tomorrow's

the dead line.

Wish upon a star, that never once existed.

2009-06-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

When will i ever wake up and realise my mistake?
Like i mentioned in the
previous post,
life's a sinking boat fo me now.
How many times am i gonna
continue standing
there and get punched and slapped at
till i wake up?

I don't ever wish/want to be termed as 'emo'.

But, somtimes, emotions get the best of me, sometimes

sadness clog me fo several days.

Have too many things on my shoulders now.

It's getting heavier and exhausting by the minute.

From piggus issues-hols drama-pers. problems-having a major fight wit mommy

and daddy.

Fo the first time, in my entire life,

i felt like an outcast when daddy said that.

For, the very, very first time.

I felt like a stranger just passing by

a shop and looking in to the items that are being displayed.

Oooooouch.

But, whatev it is. I'll persevere.

I'll mend things bac.

Whatev it is, i gotta stay strong and have faith

in myself.

Right?

Haaa, only god knows how much pain i

am in now.

Autobots, roll out!

2009-06-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

Changed blogskin, again.

Hope now all misconceptions wil

be cleared?

Right now.

Things aren't going how i want em too.

Emotions are runing wild.

It's just crazy.

Sorry i hurt you mei.

Sorry guys.

I'm sick and tired of fighting wit it.

I'm sick and tired of knowing one day, i'll

succeed,

and on the other, i'll

just allow it to get to me.

I'm on the verge of falling off the cliff.

One more attack,

and i'll give in to it.

Stupid.bullpoppie.piggus

2009-06-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

Fathiirah shall start PlanA from today onwards,

oooo gyeeeah;

15.o6.08,

16:52.

No one will disturb her or

try to stop her.

So, don't waste your breath okaaaay?

&she has to force herself to drink milk, eventho

she hates it.

Girl. You need to be more, more, more

taller^^

AND MORE SLIMMER.

Like fat piggu liao-.-

so disgusting, pleaseeee.

I hate you disgusting, noob, idotic fats

found in my body!

I hate you to the freaggin core-

to the deepest, darkest pit hole, hate you

to the crown of my head

to the soles of my feet.

I hate you, i hate you, i hate you!

So, stop coming to me, stop staying in my body.

i will, (i mean it) i will KILL you.

You're prohibited from coming/staying in my body,

so stop coming&staying!

Go to hell you bloody,bullpoopie, cb, nb, disgusting

piggus(fat cells).

}14.14<3333

2009-06-13T02:29:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me,

happy birthday to me, happy birthday

to fathiirah!

Happy birthday to me^^

Turned 14 on the 14th of June, weee`haww.

Let's hope,

all my wishes will come true?

Well, if not all,

at least those first few wishes can

come true?

Oooh, pleaseee dear god? D:

Baobei`Mei<333

2009-06-11T03:07:00.000-07:00

DearestBaobeiMei<33333,

fcuk, never had it crossed my mind i'll miss you

this freaggin much.

Haha, mei, i miss you so, so

so uber much.

We clicked since we're in primary school,

pri5, i guess, to be exact?

Ahh, it hurts me just so much, i miss you

so freaggin much D:

when there was me&you ...

2009-06-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

11 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY!

Zomg,

LadyGaga's concert's on
14June?
Siaaaal ar, that's like on my
freeaggin birthday.

Found, and is still finding myself watching

cooking channels.

Hoho, weeeeird, but suddenly i have

developed this sudden interest. Well, actually

not reeeally.

Been having this interest since HomeEc

started, but it only went seeerious at Sec2.

Been watching 'the f word'(Uh`huh, it's a cooking show ;D),

'rachel ray' plus some more other shows.

Well, can't reeally imagine myself being a chef when

i'm older.

Well, maybe, if i could't be a psychiatrist,

then probably i'll be a chef?

Maaaaaybe,

too soon to talk bout it now neeeways.

If i can be both, it'll

be greeeat!

Maybe part-time chef, part-time psychiatrist?

So, back to reeeality.

I knew i shouldn't breakdown then and there.

Knew i shouldn't show my weakness.

I regretted it all.

But, hey, no one can argue wit me,

that you&your cbknn friends were being

JACKASSES,

MORONS,

JERKS,

PURE, DOWN RIGHT

JACKASSES/MORONS/JERKS.

I was so, so disappointed at you before this happened.

Couldn't imagined that YOU,

would do such a THING.

And then, you&your cbknn friend just had to

made fun of me when i brokedown.

Wowwww, classic dude.

Sibey typical for a guy like YOU.

Before i saw you, i was sibey happy, was

having one hell of a greaaat time wit girlfs.

But then, when my eyes met you,

BAM.

A wave of heavy disappointment+sadness

came washing through my pulse,

and out through my eyes.

Gyeeeeah, i was THAT disappointed at you.

And guess what?

The award for awww`some male actor goes to

....

........

..........

-inserts your name here-

A standing ovation,

how bout a round of applause ladies&gents?

Your plan to make me HATE you has accomplished.

Your job's done.

Go run along.

One thing's for sure,

never will i trust anyone, esp guys wit all

my heart and soul.

I've learned it the hard way.

I can and i will move on wit my life.

I deserve much, much, much more better

then this.

You had your chance,

and you blew it off BIG,

BIG TIME.

Thankyou so so so much MsShahidah

for lending me a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand

and a wam hug.

Reeeally, it all suddenly clicked in me.

Thank you truckloadsss!

CountDowwwn!<333

2009-06-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

12 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY!

Correction peeps.

Apparently, the flight on 16th

will be arriving at KotaKinabalu late.

So, mommy called up the agent, and changed

the dates to 19th-22th instead.

Do, take note gyeeeah?

Pop-ups are seeeriously pissing

me off man D:

It's like popping up every time i

enter my blog.

Freaggin pekchek sia.

Neeewayss.

Imma use my hols wisely,

imma sharpen&improve my drumming.

Study,study, study!

Loose weight! D:

And blog more! :D

One, final wish.

2009-06-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

13 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY!

Oooh peeps.

Do take note that i'll be away

on the 16th-19thJune.

Going to KotaKinabalu,

i'll try to get souveniors for you

guys kay?^^

Andand!

Do take note of the above headline too!

Must, MUST, MUST!

Grr, hoho.

Watching The Biggest Loser,

has made me finally feel appreciated of

my body.

Of how much i fcukin loose.

I was muchmuch bigger last time.

But, when the show's over,

i'll tend to start

going back to my old self.

Peeps may think,

"Oooh, she has lost alot of weight.

And she looks greeat now.

She should be more happier and more

confident of herself now."

Dead wrong. I should be more

stronger despite going thru a rough

fight during PriSchool&SecSchool.

It didn't, instead, it got quite worst, even tho

no ones 'bullying' me right now,

bout my weight.

There's one particular bully who's still out

there.

Constantly taunting my mind,

constantly chanting

to my ear that i'm as fat as last time&i'm ugly as hell.

I can't escape. Cause i'm living wit it, it's

a part of me.

My mind is the bully.

My one final wish when im

officially 14;

is to be stronger.

To be able to love myself. Able

to appreciate myself.

To have more confidence in myself.

SHINee-Replay

2009-05-28T17:16:00.000-07:00

Missed school for two days already.

Not gonna post why.

And guess what?

I'm addicted to Replay by SHINee^^

Lolsssssss,

i know it's been out for quite some

time already.

But, hell, who cares?^^

It's sooo sweeeeeett. Haha.

Key&JongHyun is supersuper cute.

Haha. Naw, but nothing beats

Biggg`Banggg!

Neeewayssss, was going thru some blogshops.

Geeeez, i have to get that AnnaSui

wallet&that tees&dress!

Soo, gonna beg mommy to get me

the AnnaSui wallet.

It's pretty^^

Tomorrow getting report book.

Woohoo, cool or what?0.0

Haha, neeewaysss.

Got third in class for Hist,

damn you FeeFee& HuiYi!

@#$%!

And all other subject passed,

woohoo!

CSH, Nickhun<33333

2009-05-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

Had COL practice today.

Boooooooooooooring -.- rather go for

the post-exam thingy lor.

And, and.

It was soooo freaggin hot laa,

cheeeee`byeeee, some more wear uniform le.

Haha, what the hell.

Ahhh, i swear.

Nickhun from 2PM and Top from

Bigggg`Bangggg.

IS.

FREAGGIN.

CUTE

HOT.

I love Top more !

Shall i get an ipod or dig. cam for my birthday?^^

Daddy's gonna get me either one.

And, oooh gyeeeeah,

i sooo have to start saving up money laa.

Cannot spend, spend no more.

Must save cause wanna go shopping wit Cuzzy.

Heh, c`mon fathiirah.

You can do this,

jia you!

Seeeriously can't wait so go out and shop,

shop, shop! :D

I hope for a vain expectation, but now it's useless.

2009-05-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

Found myself taking alot of fotos these past few

days, and

has been hearing HaruHaru

again and again.

Neewaysss, i think i've put on weight.

Awwwwwsome.

Nehmind, i'll use the JuneHols

to loose my weight.

Gonna shred all the fats found in my body.

Yeeeeehaw.

No freaggin idea why now my mood is totally

low.

Whatev. Not gonna bother anyone today

wit how i'm feeling.

Just gonna suck it up. Boohoo.

Gosh, i seeeriously

have to save money before June hits.

Wanna go shopping wit KakMali, shop for more

dresses, overalls,

tees.

Hoho, i realised something, i don't have that

much tees comepared to dresses

and such.

Haha, so, i'll save money to get some.

Top(ChoiSeungHyun),

is eeeeefin hot&cute&funny, haha.

He's very wacky,

been watchin some of his vids.

Lols, i'd be proud if he were my brother,

haha.

Boooooooooring.

Tomorrow there's school,

like what the fcuk right?

Feel&maybe wanne pon school.

Maybe if momma let,

i'll be heading to DownTown to swim wit

Shahidah^^

HomeEc^^

2009-05-12T22:37:00.000-07:00

Texting baobie mei.

Throwing out all my emotions at her.

Talking out all these feelings

that are in me.

So, HomEc paper was.

One.

Word;

Okaaaaay.

Except for some, where i didn't

had much time to read thru.

Argh, pleaseee let me get at least 47-50++??

Siaaaaaan.

Tomorrow Science exam 0.0

Oooh, woohoo.

Two more papers and

MYE over liao!

Gyeeeeah baby, can't wait.

And, and,

June's coming closer!

Eh! *Broadcast

To all you peepos out there, MUST give me

prsents on 14 june kay?

If you don't give me, i'll come and hantam

you at your house.

Huahua^^

Ahh, reeeally wish daddy could

get me an IPOD.

Don't know whether he's still

buying for me.

Lately, been fighting wit him D:

Ahh.

HistoryHistory!<3

2009-05-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

"Don't let what you cannot do,

interfere wit what you can do."

History was okaaaaay.

Manageable i guess? Freeeeak, i didn't read bout the

Great Depression -.-

They said tested on Chapts 2, 3, 4 and 6 ONLY.

Then end up, they all said Chapts

1-6.

Greeeeat -.-

Guess, History's okaaay to me.

Didn't reeeally paid much attention when Ms Siti

was teaching.

Too boring, soo dry 0.0

Self study easier plaus better!

Haha! If got doubts then call Ms Siti, lols.

Compared to Geog, i think both okaaaaay?

But, most probably taking History.

Cause it's fun, fun, fun ^^

Neeeways, i'm multi-tasking now :D

Studying HomeEc while listening/ watching

Biggg`Banggg' MV

while writing here.

Haha! Talk bout some seeerious work here,

lols!

HomEc's mafan, alot of memorising needed.

Haha, but it's quite straight forward laa.

Lols, shucks, Science paper the day after tomorrow.

Awwwwwww`some.

I don't reeeally get sec2's science.

Stupid digestion -.-

Stupid transport in living things -.-

Gonna head to ttn later and ask Kumar ^^

Huahuahua.

Is this some kind of a curse that's running in my blood?

Why? Why every single time i'm in this situation,

the exact same thing is happening.

What's wrong wit this beating heart of mine?

What caused this?

I don't wanna go round breaking every hearts

that's trying to unlock the gate to

my heart.

Dearest Mommy<3333

2009-05-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

Dearest mommy<3,

On a very special day, here's wishing you

Happy Mommy's Day.

You're my own personal tissue that never

gets wet or dirty whenever i cry.

You're my own personal super heroine to come and

save me from drowning in my problems.

You're my own personal doctor

whenever i fall sick;

you stay up at night just to take care of me.

Most of all,

you've been enduring all my bullcraps

for 13 and a half years.

And you still forgive me despite making the same problems

again, and again.

I love you mommy.

You're my best friend at times.

And you're my most awww`some-est mommy

and caring mommy.

I love you mommy.

Stand yo ground, show em who's boss.

2009-05-09T23:53:00.000-07:00

Haru haru, mudyeojogane~
Sometimes, in life.
Being sarcastic and rude is the way
out to 'those group of peepos'
out there.
It's not yo nature to act this way,
but 'those group of peepos'
out there are asking for it.
Jealousy is one main murderer of friendships.
Wit jealousy itself,
it's enough to destroy yo friendship
you've build for several months/years.
Jealousy over yo looks.
Jealousy over boys talking to yo.
Jealousy over peepos giving yo good comments.
There's nothing to kill jealousy.
It can't be killed by acid,
neither can it be destroyed.
It's only up to the 'owner'.
Alright-eyyy peeps.
Ya`ll get what i'm try`na say hear i suppose.
Thinking of this totally
punctures my mood.
Sayonara.
Yo decided to back off from 1
when yo noticed she wasn't treating yo right.
Yo came to me, it was nice enough for me to gave yo
a second chance. Why? Cause when yo were wit 1, yo weren't treating
me right. Hah, i guess what goes around comes around huh?
I accepted yo. We became close friends from then on.
Gyeeeeah, we fought.
Yo caused me to be malu infront of almost every girl
in our class.
In time, i gave in. I finally forgave yo.
Then now. Yo start yo nonsense.
Fcuk, i've had enough man.
Hanis and mommy warned me from first time onwards.
Yo weren't a good friend.
Dont get too close. I didn't hear em, i ignored em. Cause i thought yo weren't like
what they said. I expected yo to be better.
Now, yo starting to be diferent.
All because of one small matter? All because yo had to follow me home
to get my thermometer? Waaaaa, damn bullcrap laa.
Remember when after school, we would always confess things?
Now, why aren't we doing it? Why? Afraid to confess?!
What's yo fcukin problem when peepos tell me good comments?
Why suddenly now, yo jealousy existed?
Why suddenly now yo feeling of jealousy is soo freaggin obvious?
Even some of em can see do yo know that?
Fine, yo want a play it this way,
this way i shall i play it.
Let me tell yo,
I'm never gonna let yo step on my head no more.
I'm never gonna give yo face no more.
First chance was used up.
Second chance used up.
Third chance used up.
Now how?
Sarcastis and rude is how i'm gonna treat yo.
Don't come and complain to me
or blame me if i treat yo this way. Cause yo forced me too.
Yo crossed the line. No more lil missy nicenice
for yo.
It's time for lil missy sarcastic and evil for yo.

Starvation

2009-05-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

To think that i've overcomed it.

To think that i had complete contol over it.

Now, it all comes tumbling down.

Every single freaggin thing.

I don't care.

I won't bother, won't listen.

I'll do whatever it takes to convince my mind that

i ain't fat no more.

Cause now, it's reeeally getting outta hand.

And it's driving me insane.

Starvation will commence today.

Yes, TODAY.

And FOREVER will it be.

So what if i've loose alot of weight?

So what if there's a major difference in me compared

to last year?

FYI;

I don't feel beautiful. I don't feel slim.

All i feel is HUGE, HUGE, HUGE.

All i see is UGLY, UGLY, UGLY.

I will not eat for breakfast, i will not eat for lunch,

i will not eat for dinner.

If i can do this for one whole freaggin month,

i see no reason why i can't do it again.

And if i ever get sibey hungry,

i'll feed those hungry vibes by remembering the negative remarks,

those painful memories

peepos used to called me when i was huge.

I won't stop starving myself, till my mind is happy.

Mei, kor, Awww`some, friends, love ones.

Don't worry bout me.

Don't even freaggin dare to try to stop me.

You don't know how painful it is to be living wit a mind i have.

So instead of fighting it,

i'm giving in to it.

I'll satisfy it's wish, to be more skinnier.

To not consume anything.

DON'T TRY TO STOP ME.

DON'T EVER DARE TO TRY AND STOP ME.

Cause when i start,

I'll never stop.

MARK.

MY.

WORDS.

Deardear<3

2009-04-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Hello, wello, bello :D

Just came bac from school. School was okaaaay.

Nothing special happen, hoho.

Last period was talking wit Vampyre all

the way lor.

Haha, he's one cool dude laa,

probably the closest guy i'm wit in class.Eh, eh. Don't mistaken hor!

We're CLOSE FRIENDS okaaaaaaaaaaay -.-

Nothing more. Cheersss! :D

Today the whole class did re`test.

Hoho, i must admit. I didn't reeeally studied properly.

Lols, but the test is okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay laa. Managable i guess?Did lit test also. Oh my god, i think

that test i'm gonna get low marks laa. Didn't understand

what the fish i wrote lor D:

Die, die, die. Haha.

Sad, today supposed to have study group

wit Baobie kor and Baobei mei.

But unfortunately, kor couldnt make it. *sobsobs

Kor, cheer up kay? I believe every problem can be settled.

It's like trying to solve a maths question.

You've got to be patient and gotta find a solution to figure it out.

Reeelax kay kor?

Anything can beep me or gimme a call kay?

Loves.

You did knew i didn't have any connnection link

wit you.

And yet you still thought i fancy you.

For the last time, i don't.

So, move on kay?

There are more girls out there who can

give you bac the love.

I can't, and i'm sorry, if i hurt you.

I already am damn guilty for breaking one guy's

heart already.

It was almost the same case,

but he was more seerious compared to you.

Ans me;

Would you try eating an unripe nut?

Would you rather wait for it to bloom and ripe nicely?

Ofcourse the last one right?

30stmfriend; you're my idol!

2009-04-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

Didn't went school today.

These freagin cramps are killing me 0.0

Plus, didn't had the mood too.

Woke up 1011++? Didn't had anything to do,

watched MTV.

Then DC, then nickelodeon and then Okto.

Lols, skipping school ain't fun ya'll.

(Haha, i can't even believe i said this, lol!)

At least at school i can be around friends.

I admit, i truly regretted not going school today.

Gahhh!

Was surfing on Youtube.

Was finding drum cover for random songs.

And i ended up watching this super, duper cool vid.

Type; 30stmfriend.

O my god man! She's freaggin awww`someeeee!

And she's only what? 13? 14?

O my god laa! I'm so jealous D:

But, she's been learning drums for 5 years.

I only started learning around Sec1?

One half years? Depending on which month i started.

Jojo intro me Academy of Rocks.

She learn the guitar, while i learn drums!

I play the drums like 3ostmfriend!

I have to take things seeeriously, from now on.

I can't fool around, the fees aren't cheap.

Mommy will be very, very dissapointed if i fool around.

Have to start appreciating what mommy and daddy's been giving me.

I'll consistantly go to

drum lessons from now on.

I have to make it my first priority above the rests. Have to

consistently practice those exercises at home.

But, not everyone is fortunate enough to own a drum set in their homes.

What more in HDBs?

Cravingggg Vibesssss

2009-04-19T17:44:00.000-07:00

Whoop-tee-do.

I've got cravings for sushi laa dammit! D:

I want my usuals D:

Sob, sob.

Oh my god laa, the clothes at Tamp1,

quite ex sia. Some more some not reasonable price! D:

Grr, but nice sia. Hohoho, must find other shops.

Who watches S Factor?

Zomg laa, it's damn stupid laa pleasee *____*

Singaporeans have no originalities man, sorry laa.

But it's a fact, all copy from the caucasians.

C'mon man Singapore, do your OWN productions man.

Show em what we're capable of man.

No offence, but seeriously.

I think Harper's Island is damn, damn,

mysterious, some what cool yet thrilling.

The scene where the bride's cousin kena

tied nye the propeler of the boat, under water,

is freaggin scary sia.

I was going "O my god, o my god."

Reeeally le, super scary, eerie and gore.

Okay, this craving vibes are reeeally bugging me.

Maybe gonna ask Sheeda if she can follow me :D

And tomorrow there's Digestion re-test.

Ahh. Sian, haven't even study.

Dont' know whether tomorrow also have Maths re-test.

Also haven't revise. Ahh.

Too lazy laa. Maybe i'll have to stay up,

and drink coffee and listen to music while studying.

Ho, ho, ho. Mafan laa all this freaggin tests.

Just skip all this test and get straight to exam laa 0.0

Got CA1/CA2 laa, SA1/SA2 laa.

Just do this whole thing once, and get straight

to exam better riiight.

Ahh! You peepos who set all this are reeeally giving me

headaches 0.0

After a longg period of delay, finally it came! At the wrong time! D:

2009-04-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

Gahhhh. Mences cramps are disallowing me to do things.
Shit, shit. Curses you mences cramps!
Grrrrrr. Was supposed to go for Ms Nash's wedding.
But then, woke up and kena red light D:
Damn suey laa. Haishh.
Guess what? I found my mp3 player!
Hua hua hua, but damn, damn, sad.
Damn, damn, damn suey lor. The screen broke D:
Mommy and daddy are soooo gonna kill me,
if they found out.
Die, die, DIE!
Now no more mp3 player D: Waaaakao.
Nevermind, i still have my fone anyw :D
Still can hear songs from it, hahaha.
Reeeally super, duper, dee`duper sorry Amierah D:
Sorry laa. It's not i ask my red light come today riiight.
I'm not the one who makes all this decision.
When it's gonna come, or when it's gonna end riiight.
I know like last minute and such, if you want go soo much,
go wit our classmates laa.
For the last time, sorry okay?
You also got kena red light also riiight?
You do know how painful these cramps can get riiight?
Miss Nash even broke down infront of all of us at that time.
So, pleaseee understand kay? I'm reeeally sorry kay?

Buck up, buck up fathiirah

2009-04-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

I seeriously think i need Rehab,

for my obsession on shopping.

Lols, seeeriously. Ystd went TamOne.

Wit Sheeda and her sister.

Went inside one shop selling bags. Waaakao.

The white handbag damn freaggin nice laa!

But, 49.90 le, ex laa. A few days bac, just asked daddy to buy sandal.

Then now want buy bag. Wah.

Confirm he'll lecture me.

Today had syf at Vict Concert Hall, left for choir at 1030

Yessa, skipped Neo's lesson and Teo's lesson.

Wah, shiok man. But sian-ed laa.

Teo gave us art homework -.- ttthanks aaaaalot hor!

Guess what? lysian chorale got cop for the forth time.

Wowwwww, cool hah?

Hiashh, expected liao laa. Sorry laa.

But, normal choir have at LEAST 80 peepos kay.

How much do we have? Around 28 like that?

You tell me, how win like that? Then some more,

sort of like last min de.

Anglican High got the music sheet since last year

or something like that laa.

Damn laa.

C'mon choir, let's do this. Gotta get our head in the game.

So what if we are tiny? Doesn't mean we can't make it pass all

those big choir right?

And, fathiirah. Have to start being seerious in choir.

No more fooling around. To be frank,

i felt reeeally down when choir kena cop.

You chose this cca, now youre stuck to it for 2 years.

And when you're in it, means you're a part of the lysian chorale family.

Have to do your part as a member of lysian chorale.

Come early, be seerious during practices.

"if you can keep with this diet for so long then im sure you can achieve anything you put your mind to"

"always buy things that you need only,remember that your parents arent rich,think about how hard they're working just to support you"

"always buy whatever you need only.if you save your own money you can reward yourself"

"get your goals.and reward yourself for achieving each one"

"dont bother your parents too much with wants... if you need something you can ask them.but if you want something you have to earn it"

Credits to Awesomeness<3.

You're my medicine whenever i'm down.

You chase away my dark and rainy days.

And you've given some tips.

And i'm gonna remember and bring it along my whole entire life.

You rock Awesomeness and i love you! <3333

NEW&IMRPOVED

2009-04-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

It all suddenly fell into place. Some people thought i am emo as i sometimes look very miserable and i hurt myself and stuffs.
And, i reeeally hate to be term as 'emo' i even hate the freaggin word.
And today, after reading Seventeen. A finally found an idea! Taaa`dah!
I've decided to change some of my ways.

LIFE; NEW&IMPROVED!

1. Be a more positive person instead of being the old negavtive me.
2. Change my diet; instead of starving. Eat fruits and salads! They're ain't fat!
3. Have to start being more seeerious in my studies. Have to shoo all the lazy vibes away!
4. Have to start facing up to my problems bravely, w/o hurting myself in the process.
5. Have to start saving money instead of burning it away everytime i see clothes, clothes, CLOTHES!
6. Be a better daughter! Have to minimize fights wit mommy. what has happened in the past can't be erased. But i can change the present, so i won't regret if anything happens in the future(:
Let's just hope i'll stick to all this man. I wanna change, reeeally i do.
Hmm, i'll write this on one striking piece of paper and pin in up on my notice board. So, everytime i wake up, i can read it!
Gyeeeeah! And i have to start loving myself for the way i am. Confidence baby! Confidence!
Don't let no assholes/jerks or hags from hell make you look down on yourself. They ain't worth yo time honey!

Low Self Confidence

2009-04-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

Every little thing someone says i'll take it directly to heart. Oooh yes i will.Everything i do, i will have no confidence of myself.
Name it; from playing the drums, to singing in Choir, to playing in sports to even doing my freaggin homework!
I can't reeeally trace bac where all this come from. Maybe it was a bad habit i adapted when i was young? I'm not try`na blaming my parents for not taking care of me.
But, seeeriously. When did all this started? Well, one and only reason that comes screaming and popping up in my head is; during primary school.
During P5-6, i got a taste of hell. Peepos teased me, they teased and teased.
I used to ignore all their unnecessary comments, but one day. The string that held me tight just snapped and dropped in to whirlpool of miserable and low-confidence vibes.
And as soon as i entered Sec1, wowwwww. It had gotten reeeally outta hand, i got reeeally depressed.
I started inflicting pain to myself 'physically' while those assholes destroy me 'emotionally'. I started looking down on myself, and if i had a crush on someone.
My mind will keep telling me, "C`mon, he's never gonna fall for a huge, ugly ogre like you. NO GUYS WILL. Wake up and smell the dead roses you fat ass!"
And whenever i fall for any guys, this will keep popping up on my head, like a post-it note. Even though peepos say i've loose weight and that i'm slimmer now.
I still don't think so. I still think i'm fat, fat, fat. Done. I AM FAT.
One time, i messaged Baobei mei bout the thingy that's bothering me. And she got me seeeriously shocked.
"EUR NOT FAT OKAE. IS FREAKIN ILLUSION. FREAKIN MMRS THT HAUNTS EUU. CUZ OF PPL WHO TEASED YOU."
From then on, i realised. Wowwww. Oooh. She was right, all along. This was the answer to all this living nightmares after all.
I couldn't let go of the past. Why. ...
Because i had been laughed at, been the centre of 'entertainment' to all those bloody whoop-tee-fcukS. I can't possibly forget all those humiliating parts of my life easily.
Because i have been teased for about 3-5 years? The most painful and worst part of my life. Being teased for 2 years still affects me as tho i've been teased for the whole century of my life. You 'good fo nothin piece of crapS' can't reewind time and undo all the hurtful things you've inflicted on me.

The most powerful weapon

2009-03-25T00:18:00.000-07:00

Usually victims who are suffering from teasing and anorexia, will be trapped in a pit full of a machines that suck out and put down on your confidence level.
And somehow, their mind will eventually think the same way as you do.
Ask them what are the flaws they have? And they can just tell you every single thing.
They'll take desperate meausures to fit in the 'It' crowd. You know, like those Hags from Hell. Those who think they are soo high standard. All beautiful, all smexy, all hot and stuffs.
But in truth, which guy would like that type of girl? Who has the looks but not the nice hearts.
I admit, not all are like that, SOME.
Okay, so, going bac to what i said. Gyeeeah, they'll do dangerous things. Like skip meals, constantly purging out the food they eat.
And every single day, they'll go to the mirror, and cry and wished she was born skinny already.
You peepos, who does hurt others. You can't see the pain they're going thru, but trust me. If you do know what they're doing, you're gonna regret your whole life.
Would YOU like to be make fun of? Would you wanna have this terrible and scared feeling to not go out but to stay at home? Because you're scared that peepos will laugh at you and stare at you? Have this paiseyy feeling whenever you walk in a shop to try dresses, you have to ask for L or XL.
Would YOU like that? And, to have no confidence in whatever you're doing.
C`mon man, so what if they're fat? Eh, hello. Big peepos are wayy, wayyy beautiful then those skinny girls okay -.-
They are beautiful INSIDE AND OUT. So? You want every peepos in this world to be a size ZERO then you'll shut your mouth up?
You want YOUR OWN girlf to be all bones? To hug her and feel her ribcage? To kiss her and feel the hardness of it?
If YOU are like that.. Wowwww, i have nothing to say. It's your taiji, not mine. But i'm just trying to knock some sense into you.
Oh gyeeeah, curvy girls ain't fat okaaay. They're hot as hell, wayy, wayyyy hotter then those Hags from Hell that are skinny; all bones. Like i said, SOME of em, NOT ALL.
I don't understand how some of you can find em FAT? Oho, is there something wrong wit your eyesight or something?? Seeeeriously, go and have it check okaaaay? :]
And peepos who have kena teased. It's hard riiight to build up the confidence? I know, i've been thru it. For mayb 4-5 years? Gyeeeah, i was damn huge during primary school.
Want see my foto? Go see laa, Loyang Sec, 6.3. Under P6; cause that time damn huge. My weight didn't bug me that time.
Gyeeeah, boys constantly tease me, but don't know why, i'll only go home cry and slash then next day i'll eat.
But when i stepped in Secondary. Wowwww, it got worst. The impact was reeeally hard, like having a few slaps in the face at one short. So i took a risk; i skipped meals.
One whole month i didn't eat properly, i'll either dont eat, or only eat oe or two times one day; but it's in small proportions.
And that time i lost weight, it seems like no one noticed, so i tried it again. (Un)Fortunately, mommy told me to do it the right wy; have a balanced diet, balance the level of activity wit the amount of food i eat, cut down on sugary stuffs, snack on fruits instead of tidbits..
And now, sme of my relatives told me not to be skinny no more, cause if not i'll look old and haggered.
But i didn't care, i want be skinny, all pretty. I want be like thos models.
Those 'It' girls.
Some peepos think i'm fat. But in truth, i have big bones, that make me look fat. Hah.
You see, that's how it will affect peepos. Eventho you see, she's already the ideal weight, the perfect figure. She still won't trust you.
She'll keep on skipping meals, growing more thinner, and thinner, and thinner, till she'll die of Anorexia.

//Worthless piece of junk

2009-03-22T01:49:00.000-07:00

She seems young, vibrant, full of life. She seems like a young but a strong swan, a young gladiator that doesnt give up easily.
That stands strong wit the sword in her right hand and a shining shield that sparkles brilliantly from afar. She shows no mercy to these problems that are flying in her way from all different directions.
You look up to her, you wished you were like her. All strong, all powerful like a beautiful Amazon Warrior. An Amazon Warrior that's full of confidence in everything she does.
But, in truth she's just as scared as you, or maybe even more afraid then you are.
Inside her, everything's destroyed. Everything is not left healing, but bleeding. Everywhere she goes, whoever she's wit, whatever she does.
She's hurting and tearing peepos apart. It's like, there's this curse in her blood.
The only way for her to get it out, is by draining every single blood out from her body. That way, the curse is out. And, she's doing that. Slowly... ..
Maybe you think she have to be placed in somwehere, where she doesn't have any encounter wit humans. So, she'll rot in there.
I agree too. This 'curse' is killing her. Everyday she wakes up.
Wishing the 'curse' will dissapear magically. She doesn't deserve to be treated nicely.
She isn't worth anyone's time. She's a stupid, useless piece of junk. She doesn't worth loving. No, this ain't a story i plan to write. This is a true story. She lives near you.
.... and that girl.
.... is me.
"Who knew a wrong mistake would turn out like this.
Who knew that you, who i lean on, would hurt this much.
Only an ocean of sadness (and) dark loneliness exists.
I can only cry like a littile kid lost in the balck darkness"
That's EXACTLY how i feel now, no wonder i keep crying over and over again, crying uncontrollably. Credits to Big Bang for the lyrics...

F.S.K.M ROCKSSSS HARDCOREEE!

2009-03-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

Wowwwww, first time get to experience singing LIVE on Vict. Hall. Once you step in, it'll give you this kind of 'ancient, yet beautiful' aura.
Hah, all of us were going all '....wowwww, eh nice sia!'. Hahahaha, gyeeeah, jakon siakk, lolssss.
But still, what you expect? First timer mar we all ;D Hahaha. I don't mean to be rude or anything laa, but i always had this idea that Vict. Hall will be damn, damn big.
But the sitting quite limited laa, hahaha, maybe when the actual day comes.
Then probably i'll see how huge it is. Lolsssss. Some more i stand in front de le -.- Waaaaalao, jia lat man *____* Mr Tan laa, ask me go change place wit Yixuan.
GRRRRR.
(Let's skip this boringgg part ^^)
So, so when to TM wit Maple, Sheeda, Kia Hwee and Cristie. Hahaha, had lunch there, lolsss.
Waaa, that Cristie hah, i tell you, can eat alot but won't get fat, so good riiight?? I envy you lerrrrrrrr!
Hahahaha, i tell you hah, go out wit them right.. Not one minute will we be seen not laughing like siao girls, or like drunk girls ;D
Hahahaha, gyeeeah, we're that craaazy :D I love them laa!! Closest friends in LYSS, one of the reasons of my existence, hahahaha!
Lolsss, awwwwwwww, so deep. Then after lunch walked, walked around, hmm, i'd call it 'window shopping', lolsss.
Then kinda halfway, Cristie had to head home, sad D: Then said our tatas, then kinda headed home.
Hahahah! Oh, oh before that i went and bought one shirt :D Hahahah, damn cute laa, but suey -.-
The white tee is kind of translucent -.- Waaaalao, all bra coloured le -.- Confirm can see laa.
Then must go hunt for plain white tee -.- Arghhhhh, soo mafan. Grrrrr.

Stooop`piddd Warning Bellsssss.

2009-03-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

If you receive warning bells, would you answer it or would you ignore it? I don't know why, but, maybe, it's my nature to always ignore it whenever im face to face wit the warning bell.
But, when i ain't face to face wit it. I make a promise to myself that i'll avoid the thing that i'm receiving warning bells from.
Once, im infront of it, arghhhh, god.
I become soo ubber nice to it, soo very nice...
And i end up crying. Crying so hard, not able to calm myself down.
Despite all those histories, i still haven't learn my lesson? Why?
Is it because i'm afraid that my feelings aren't true? Afraid of humiliation? When everyone knows you were wrong?
But if so, i can always ask for clarification, right?
But why am i afraid to ask? Haishhhhh. And those igonorance..
Those words i said... Maybe it's true you are like that? Maybe that's why those hatred feelings i have answer why i'm ignoring you?
I don't know for sure what's right... This all started after the incident i was giving cold shoulders to someone.. Then, from then on, this feelings start developing on you. Dont know...

Biggggg`Banggggg!

2009-03-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

Daaaaaaamn, i think i really, really gone way, wayyy gugu gaga over Bigggg`Banggg.

Hehehehehe, today skipped Madrasah, was too lazy. Besides, Alysha<3>

Hahaha, yessss, yesss i know, the second foto is damn, damn, cute.

It won't be any fun w/o her laa, she today going M`sia. Grrrr!

I'm sooo gonna miss her truckloadsss ler! 'Alyshaaaaaaa! When you come bac, we seriously have to go out man D:'

So, technically, half the day? ( I guess.. ..) was on the comp. Was searching my usual stuffs :D

Bigggggggggggggg`Bangggggggggggggggg! God, TOP is seriously dead gorgeous laa!

Lolsss! I forgot, he does belongs to me ;D Kekekeke.

Hahahaha, god. Now i find G-Dragon cute *___* Hahaha, what the hell.

I soooo wanna join Biggg`Bangg de VIP laa, but then the thingy like complicated D:

Then i don't dare join first, wanna ask my cuzzy help me then i join :D

Oh gyeeeeah baby, i found some more songs from Biggg`Banggg ^^ Whee~

Been playing all those songs every single day laa, on comp plus on fone.

Hahaha, i think momma also know some of the parts of the song laa, but lucky she quite into `em ;D

I guess daddy's the one suffering laa, hahaha :P He'll be like '..eh, you know what they talking meh?? Haiyo, so crazy over chinese guys..'

Heh! Got subtitle laa daddy! Yessss, yessss, not chinese, but KOREAN :D

Especially Choi Seung Hyun aka TOP; he's just oh so super, duper, dee-duper spiiiicy :D

Shit laaaaa. I think i gain weight liao laa, but then that time i checked my weight. I lost 2kg over around one or going to two months..??

Fcuk laa, i still feel fat and think i am fat. Grrrrr, irritating.

Nevermind, i'll start skipping meals. If June hols i can do it, no reason for me not able to do it during this one week.

Bigggg, bigggg improvement this year

2009-03-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

Gyeeeeah! Bought that cute dress while shopping wit Amierah<3

Waaaaa`lao, dont know to ya'll laa. But it's sorta worth it.

Cause, cause, we roamed all places the price was like, 78.00++??

At Isetan more worth it siol, seeeeeerious -.-

Stoooop`piddddd. Liverpool freaggin beat manchester 4-1. Arggghhhh!

Whateverrrr, manchester's still on TOPPP! STILL. ON. TOP!

Hahahaha, as you peepos can see, i've achieved: four a1s, two a2s, 2 b4s and i c5.

Hahahaha. Not to brag or anything lerrrrr *____* Basket! No matter how hard i try`ta do well in Eng. I always, never fail to get c5 -.-

Naaaaaaaaaa`bei. Why soo freaggin hard sia???

In pri it was like damn, damn easy to get A for Eng and malay laaaa.

I love you grandpapa, you'll always be remebered.

2009-03-08T19:22:00.000-07:00

Sunday, 07 March, dearest grandpapa departed.
Finally, all his sufferings he has been through, has ended.
I love you grandpapa. May you find peace, serenity, and a beautiful life in the other world.
It's the second, i'm missing you. Why? Why leave before i had the chance to meet you?
Why? S`okay. I still can meet you when it's my time to leave this Earth.
I'll be lookingg forward to see you grandpapa.

Al-fatihah for his soul.
May he find happiness ever after in Heaven.
We will all miss you.
We love you.

Randommm.

2009-03-04T21:18:00.000-08:00

Wowwwww. It's been so freeeakin long since i posted D:
My blog's deeeeead peepos! Nooooooooo.
Hahaha. Naw, it's not dead. I'm gonna re-birth it bac ;D
Found the purrr`fect skin i wanted, went and change my URL too.
Hehehe, nothing to do laas. Oh gyeeeeah.
I'm soo freeeeakin stupid le -.- I forgot to copy, paste then save the code for putting in the music w/o it being visible.
Dammmmn, dammmmmn stupid laa *______*
Whoop-tee-fcuk, now have to find high and low whether other blogskins got the code.
Eeeeeeee`yeeee. So sian D:

Last minute work :D

2009-02-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

Was doing art homework. Need find fotos and the informations bout the foto. Like, who drew it, when was it, the link etc...
Was happpyyyy doing homework while listening to Big Bang, and kinda finding some fotos for Amierah too when i came across the foto above.
Dead niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee right? ^^ Hehehe, cute sia.
The artist got the inspiration when their grandchildren were at her garden. ( i think :P )
The little boy wanted to give flowers to the small girl girl. Then the artist decided to paint laa.
Hahahaha, nice bodoh. And, and, oh gyeeeeeeeeeeah! I find Hui Min damn, damn cute siaaaaaa ;D Hahaha, really. It's like, when morning assembly that time.
Was talking to Sheralyn, then i Hui Min and me spotted each other. She was like.
"Hello. Hello." While smiling. Then, like everyday see her. Hahaha, cute laa she. Lols.

Shitty school

2009-02-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

Nothing much. Chatting wit John. Haa, thank you oh so much John.
Really, you enlightened some of the burden liao.
Wanna say thank you to Amierah also, she managed to cheer me up after school. Haa, make me laughed soo hard plus i walked like some drunked lady.
Wowwwwwww, thanks babe. Plus baobei mei. Aiya, she doesn't fail to make me cheer up wan laa.
She's like medication whenever i'm down. She's like my wonder woman who helps me out when i'm trap in a pit of darkness.
Haishh, thanks everyone. Thank you loadsss. And worst part is.
I want a transfer of school. How i wish i didn't write Loyang as my first choice. How i wish i could ree-wind back time.
Change Loyang, to maybe Greenview?
`Cause got baobei mei in there easier for me to get to her when this typa things happen, and i'm comfortable wit her.
Haishhh, why in the world i wrote Loyang -.- No, shut your trap up laa. Keep yo unnecessary comments to yo`self.
I never say bout 'some peepos' or some 'tragedy' that happened at Loyang that's why i want transfer school right -.-
Get this crystal clear in yo thick headed brains aite? Don't anyhow assume something without any prove aite?

Goody, goody, good girl.

2009-02-01T17:23:00.000-08:00

Let's go pouuuuuuuuty baby

Wow, i kinda look diff in this one

Lols. I've got tons of fringe styles

Hohoho, uploaded new fotos.

Just got bac from stupid religious class -.-But then.

What my cher say quite true laa. Damn, i wanna pay bac all my sins dude!
I want go heaven le D: From now onwards. Must be goody, good girl liao.

I must seriously pray always, cannot skip and stuffs. Must not repeat all my bad habits and stuffs laa.

Hehehehehe :D Alamak, bored le. No one to chat too. So super, duper, dee-duper sian.

Haru haru- BigggggggggggBanggggggggggg

2009-01-31T13:09:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFOjQRjLbgE

Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
[You'll probably be thinking how damn long am i gonna go on hah ;D]
Oh my god.
[I'm done wit it ;D]
My goooooooooodddddddddddnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeesssssssss!
Big Bang's fcukin spiiiiiiiiiicyyyyyyyyyyy!
TOP's mine! The one wit the black shades!
He's miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine ladies, or maybe, gents.. Hahahaha, i gotta hand it to the orchestra.
They really did a pretty, awesome job sia. *a round of applause!
Seriously.To be frank, i think i prefer the orchestra, cause that feeling of sadness.
Like you can feel it deeper and more real then actual one.I sooooo fcukiiiiiiiiiin love the starting!
Probably you guys would think. "Alamak this girl don't know upload video here meh?"
Lols, i tried. Somehow, it won't work.
Fcuk riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite. Lols! Yes, yes i know.
BIGGGGGG BANGGGGGGG is super fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. :DDD

JANUARY BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS;
Oh gyeeeeeeeeeeeeah! Happy Birthday Ali!
Hahahaha, pleaseee oh pleaseee be more mature aite ;D

[Hahahaha, gyeeeeeah. I'm aware my post is colourful:D]

Hold On-Good Charlotte

2009-01-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

Fcuk, fcuk, fcuker.
Feelingg soo fcukin emo.
Then my mom just have to make me feel more worst.
Walao, can't you fcukin realise i'm tryin to fight wit the tear?!
Preventing from raining.
Kept telling at her to stop.
Oh, but noooooooooooooooooo.
Still carried on.
You're damn lucky i didn't shout or said any words that i don't mean.

Fcuk sia, seriously feel like dieing bodoh.
Sometimes, death is the answer to all my questions.

Sucha Forgetful Little Girl D:

2009-01-24T22:25:00.000-08:00

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.
I forgot to save my old code when i was changing my blogskin.
Ahh, great fathiirah, just grrreaaaaattttt.
Peepos, can you guys kindly help me?
Can you guys leave your name and your url so that i can link ya'll.
I'm really, truly, deeply sorry.

And, oh gyyyyyyeeeaaaahhhh.
Tomorrow going shoppin' wit Amierah :D
Yeeeee`hawwwwww, gon shop for bagpack, breaking dawn, maybe some tees and bottoms.
Maybe pencil case too, if got enough maa`neyy.
Cheeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrriiiiiiiiioooooooooosssss.

Credits to TingTing

2009-01-17T13:54:00.000-08:00

"you know, sometimes there are reasons why ppl breakup, why ppl hug each other, why ppl kiss each other, why ppl love each other. mostly because they love each other wholeheartedly, maybe they halfhearted, maybe they just do it for fun, but maybe, just maybe thats wad love is bout? just try to overcome both your obstacles one by one, and understand wad love is about (:"

Credits to TingTing.
A friend who taught me the other side of love.

vampyresssssss

2009-01-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhh.
I wanna be forever seventeen when i reach seventeen.
*___*
I don't wanna grow older.
I wanna be young.
Ahhhh.
Why won't some vamypre come and bite me?
And let the venom spread to my body -.-
Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

Oh gyeah.
And i really, really think i should be more skinnier.
I sooo fat sia -.-
I wanna be more skinny.
Maybe like Katy Perry?
Or like Kristen Stewart?
What the hell, what the hell.

The Greatest Friend

2009-01-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

Gosh.
Alysha really cheered me up just now.
Damn, she's like.
Seriously, a nice friend.
An awesome one.
The one who goes all out to save you.
To save you from drowning in those problems.

Gyeah, thanks hunnaye.
I owe you alot sia.

Shhhhhhhh.

2009-01-10T22:05:00.000-08:00

Kept on hearing Haru Haru.
Over and over, and over, and overrrrrrrrr again.
Somehow, the song doesn't seem to grow old on me.

Kay, whatever.
Have no mood to blog.
Sayonara.
Cherrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooosssssssss.

This year teachers rock hardcoreee!

2009-01-06T15:57:00.000-08:00

Wow. Wow. Wow.
I sooooo love chers in 2eeeeee5 laa!
I prefer this years chers to last year
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Some are the same.
Miss Phua; Maths and CD.
Miss Nasyitah; English and Literature.
Mr Yacob; PE.
Mdm Juliana; Home Econ.
Miss Siti; History.
The new ones are below:
Miss Tok; Geography.
Miss Neo; Science.
Mr Naguib; Malay.
Mr Patrick and Miss/Mdm Karen; Project work.

Hahahaha.
I think that's all ar.
Lols. Oh! Oh!
We got new typa pe shirt.
It's dry fit, gyeah baby ;D
Damn, damn nice laa.
Better then last time lor -.-
It's like... So... Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D
I loooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee it :D
Okay, i seriouslyyyyyyy don't know what to write -.-
So, cherrrrriiiiiiiioooooossssss!
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

4teenJune4teenJune<33

2009-01-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

2MORE DAYS TO AMIERAH'S BIRTHDAY!

13MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY!

Oooh, peeps.

Do take note that i will be

away on the 16-19June.

Going to Kota Kinabalu.

Daddys' getting me the new

NikonCamera for my birthday^^

Woohoo, love you muchmuch daddy!

And maybe mommy's

getting me the AnnaSui wallet.

And, and.

I soo have to go shopping 0.0

But, money flew away liao D: Bought

one bag from Fox.

And now i left freaggin 14.00 -.-

Gahhh.

Fine, fine, better then 0,

haha.

Neeeways.

Got back ReportBook liao.

To me, i did fairly good, knn -.-

Got mostly Bs.

Around 3 or 4 As?

Got third in class for Hist! ^^

Andand, class position is 9/41.

Haha, okaaaay laa.

2nd last in TopTen 0.0

Don't think i'm taking HomeEcon,

(even tho i got A1/2)

too much things needed to

store in my mem card -.-

Should be taking Lit

and Hist

I'MMMMMMMMM BACKKKKKKKKK :DD

2009-01-04T17:20:00.000-08:00

I'M BACK! I'M BACK! I'M BACK!

Heyho dudes/dudettes/aliens/monsters :)

I've got bangs as ya'll can see ^ ^

Hehehehe :)

Hahaha!

Gyeah baby, momma got some singtel dude come down and fix the connection

Laptop still cannot make it -.-

Now need use computer. Haishhh.

Damn jia lat. It's situated right, smack in the middle of the hall -.-

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -.-

Aiya, nevermind lor. At leasr get to use mar!

Hehehehe :DDDDDDDDDDD

Wowwwwwww, it's been like..

Very. very, very, very looooonnnnngggggg since i use com laa -.-

I think around goin to two months plus liao?

Hahahaha! Gyeah, i'm DEAD SERIOUS.

Gyeah, well. Whatever.

And, oh gyeah!

First day of school was awesome laa!

I tot it would be loooooonnngggggg, boringgggggg.

But turned out great :) Madrasah too :)

2008-12-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

Hey, hey, hey.

I had nothing to do.

So i went on the net and went to collect FTSK pics ;D

Damn, damn, damn, they're the most awesome-st band.

Hahahaha, you guys should try to listen to em.

Hahahaha. I think i found two hotties in the band.

One of them is ofcourse.

My all time crush, Kyle Burns :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Gyeah, isn't he cute?

Makes you gooooo,

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww<3

Nyahahahaha.

And the other is Caleb Turman.

Encore, encore!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww<3

Lols! Soooo random :DDDDDDDDDDDD

Hahaha, so so back to reality.

I absolutely, seriously hate guys who loves to talk bout girls.

I mean. You know.

Those guys who sees girls that are huge, they'll like make fun of them.

Will make them girls the laughing stock or the centre of attention when they're around their friends.

Argh, i detest them sia. I seriously feel like kicking their balls.

They are seriously doop sia.

Seriously, you fcukin guys gotta get a life. C'mon man, be mature.

Be a grown up laaaa, walao.

For goodness sake -.-

Oh gyeah, concerning the matter.

This appearance thingy is haunting my life again.

Argh, i don't know how.

It's starting again. The mirrors are fcukin ruinin my life.

Whenever i turn and see my reflection in the mirror.

All i see. Is this huge, fat obese girl.

Seriously huge girl.

And it's affecting me. I'm starting to like stay at home everytime.

Try to avoid going in public cause i'm afraid to be make fun of.

Afraid of the humiliation, afraid of people seeing my body.

Yesterday was sorta emotional laaa.

I got quarter of it let go.

Thanks amira lots. For helping me through.

And thanks to Farihin.

Girl, you kinda make me wake up.

I guess you guys have help me alot.

Now, it's my turn to battle this thing on my own.

You guys finished half the race for me.

So, now. It's my turn.

Argh. I just hope i can fight this.

I just hope i can stop it from coming again.

Seriously stop it from coming back again.

2008-12-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

I apologise for not writing in my blog that often.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry!
D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:
As you know, my laptop charger not working.
So, momma's gonna buy it when she get her bonusssss!
Oh gyeah, yesterday we 5.3 and 6.3 0'6 and 0'7 got gathering.
Hahahahaha, coolio dude :DDDDDDD
I bought water gun and sabo alota peeps.
Nyahahaha! Fun, fun, fun.
Then at the end, i kena from all of them D:
Sad lor! Argh *______________*
Ouh, then Ezzudin damn, sibey sibey hong sia!
Walao eh, i seriously felt like kickin his balls lor!
Flirt flirt flirt only he knows!
Cheeeeeeeee-byeeeeeeee, assholeeeeeeeeeee -.-
If he smells good nevermind laaa.
Walao, he stinko sia. What the hell lor.
He also flirt wit Anis.
We were both damn damn fcukin pissed lor.
Cheeeeeeee-byeeeeeeeeeeee laa he.

2008-12-09T23:10:00.000-08:00

Why? Why? Why? Why?
These questions keeps ringin' in my head.
I don't wanna lose a great, awesome, lovely bestest, best friend plus a dearest and one and only mei.
We've known like since p5? We became close friends at p6 and from there we bonded.
We got closer day by day. We share secrets.
We share crushes. Or what sort.
But when it's time to move to a higher level. We went seperate ways.
You went to Greenview, i went to Loyang.
We still are close. Infact, we're tight, dude.
You were like my rainbow, my sunshine every single positive thing in my life.
You picked me up when i was down.
You shower me wit love, patience, courage, strength when i was trapped by all walls.
You help me punch down those walls when i didn't have the strength.
You give me words and advices when i'm an enemy of myself.
You help me sooo damn fcukin much throughout the years.
I love you man. I don't want anything to seperate us.
But, maybe it's just my feeling or what sort.
FYI; to me.
This past few days, something is like bothering you.
Always your messages would be warm, bubbly very cheerful. Now, it's..
Nevermind.
Now, now, wait! It's just what i'm feeling.
Since you text me and said you don't have any problem.
So, i'll close the subject bout me thinking you gotta problem.
I want us to be hyper, to be happy happy to be care-free..
Like last time.
(Argh, to bloggers reading, i'm not lesbian. I repeat, i am not lesbian.)
I miss you mei. I really, really miss you.
Everytime, you will text me.
Maybe even call me. I miss you.
I really do.
I love you mei.

2008-12-07T02:16:00.000-08:00

Hey peepos. Tomorrow Ari Raye Haji yaw.
Ahahaha, momma told me. Gonna wake up at 0800 then go Mak Milah house.
Then proceed to nenek house or something.
Gyeah, baby. Get to play wit Hazeeqah ;D
Lols! Gotta bring extra home clothes so i can change if she wanna play.
So i won't sweat and smell unpleasant while wearing Baju Kurung :P
Hahahaha! Seriously dude, i damn, damn, easy to sweat.
And oncei sweat. I sweat, ALOT.
Yes, ALOT. *_____________* Yikes.
And, and! Oh, oh!
My cousin is coming! WOOHOO!
Er, the one from England ;D Gyeah baby!
I wanna bring her go shopping! And like see see Singapore :D
I hope i can be an awesome tourist D:
Hahahahaha! Damn. I'm super, duper excited yaw!

2008-12-06T00:22:00.000-08:00

You just have to fcukin make my life a fcukin miserable wan huh?
Look, what happen this nite, wasn't entirely my fcukin fault okay?!
You think i fcukin scared of you ar?
Walao, if i got the chance, i'm runnin outta this hell on earth man.
Wakao eh. How i ever wish i never was born..
I know you're way, wayyy, wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy older then me.
People have limits sia. No need till angry, angry then want fcukin do those things laa.
Wakao eh. Yesterday, i've gotta hide all my emotions.
Have to trap it inside of me, try'na suck it all in and try'na hold the cap to ensure that i won't beakdown before you or daddy.
Then, today. This shitty, shitty, fcukin thing you give me?
Wa-laooooooooooo. I wanted to shout at you the things that were ringin in my head.
But i didn't. I keep fighting wit those voices.
Sayin, "She's my momma. I can't do it."
And then, unfortunately. You went over the line.
I started cussing hateful, most bad-dest things under my breath.
I wanted to screammmmmmm. Wanted to run in an open space.
Wanted to dugmy head and cuddle on too someone.
But i can't. I have to face to it. Myself.

I have to gather all the pieces of me bac together

2008-12-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

Argh. I have no fcukin clue why i'm feeling like this.
What the bizauoos. What the bizauoos. What the bizauoos. What the bizauoos.
I can really, really feel the inside of me all messed up.
I can feel that some of the puzzle are lost.
It really sucks to have this feeling.
I'm not fcukin faking it dumbass.
Well, it just so happen my fcukin life.
Unfortunately. Runs like this.
So, if you fcukin assholes don't fcukin believe me.
Or you fcukin think i'm trying to seek attention.
Just so you know.
Im not a attention seeker. I have other betta things to do.
I don't need anyone to help me.
No, i'm not trying to be action or what sort.
I just need to settle this on my own.
I'm the only one who knows how i'm feeling. I'm the only one who knows me.
Who knows me deeply.
So, i have to deal wit it on my own.
I'll gotta gather back and solve the puzzle.
Before it's worst.

2008-12-03T23:58:00.000-08:00

Gyeah baby.
Finally i bought tha colours that i wanna.
So, yesterday went to Giant wit Shahidah.
She bought jeans.
I bought myself two fbtssssssssss :D
One purple, one orange!
COOLIO!
Hahahahahaha.
Actually i wanted to buy red and orange.
But then, to me.
Red fbt don't kinda look nice on me...
So i change to purple.
Hahaha.
Still hunting for Lime Green wan tho ;D

Oh gyeah.
I dropped my laptop quite hard tho.
I swore i got a bad feeling bout it.
But i just shrug it off.
Then when i plug in cannot charge D:
Wakao.
Was like.

'Die liao. Die liao. Die liao. Die liao.'

I kept banging the thing.
Tried still cannot.
Waste effort hah?
I think i make the thingy even worst lor -.-
Argh, this is just one of my bad habit.
I don't really take good care of the things i get.
It's like, my mommy bought me S500i fone.
Then like, not really one year, spoil liao.
Some of my keypad's fcuked up.
If peps call me.
I can hear their voice, but they can't hear mine.
Argh.
So far, i've got three bad habits.
Ohoho, there's more, i guess?
Trust me.

2008-11-27T18:18:00.000-08:00

Some peeps are just funny.
It's like.
When they made plans wit us.
Ask around who wanna go.
Ask parents liao.
Then suddenly, they cannot go.
Say they haven't ask parents.
Say lazy laaa.
Like.
What the hell rite?
If got valid reason nevermind laaa.
It's kinda troublesome laa making plans wit these kinda peeps.

And, pleaseee just pleasee la friends.
Don't give me any more shits laa.
I'm hurt enough okay -.-
I don't need you to scar the wound even more laaa.
Just leave me alone.
I need air to breathe.
To sort problems inside me.
Don't give me any more shits okay?

2008-11-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

Ever had one of those days where you wish you were just a dust, so the wind can blow you and thank you some place else?
Ever had one of those days where you really really wanna escape so badly from something that's makin you feel like an outsider?
Ever had one of those days where you really really regret your choice that you made? Well. Guess what? I felt all the above today.
Wanna know why?

CAUSE IM THE ONLY LYSS STUDENT IN MY GROUP FOR TODAY.

Gyeah, it sucks.
Gyeah, i'm a loner.
Gyeah, i feel awkward.
Argh!
Throughout the day, i felt this weird feeling in my chest.
It kinda like, wanna try to go out.
It's like, banging against the wall.
Hoping, and trying to break it.
But, this feeling subsided when i'm wit my cliques back again.
Argh.
Sucha doop *_______*
That fcukin shows how much i hate bein a loner.
And feelin like some outsider.
And guess what?!
I have to suffer for two more fcukin days!
Argh!
Kanasai!
Cibai!
Whoop-tee-fcuk!
Dumbass!
It sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucks!
Gondol tol -.- Argh.

Now, moving on to some serious stuffs.
Well, i found out another part of my bad habit.
I just, always, tell people things last mintue.
Like, let's say, A told me next week decide to have barbeque.
Then, next day, got something on.
I alway got the feeling to tell earlier.
But then, somehow, i'll dragged.
Till around three more days, or worst, one more day left -.-
Haishh. I always remind myself bout this matter.
But still, i repeat it like i would wit Maths stuffs.
Haiya, doop right?
I'll end up pissing people off,
plus makin them angry,
plus makin them loose my trust.
Argh.
Crappy, crap right?
Bee-jeez-us *_________*

2008-11-22T21:36:00.000-08:00

Hey earthlings.
Changed my blog layout, i think it's okay.
Hahaha, nevermind i'll change when i have the time :D
Gosh, Hunted is release on March 09
Dang it man D:
I knew i shouldn't read the Untamed sooo fastttt.
Sorry :x
It's additive D:
It's like, after you read one page.
You lust, and thirst for more, MORE!
Really! Believe me! D:
I think, Untamed was the first book i finished super fastttt.
The Marked, Betrayed, Chosen all i dragged :DDD
Nyahahahahaha.
I think i finish fast maybe cause i'm attracted to the last part :D
Now, currently reading Twilight.
Hmmmm, not bad ar.
But i prefer House of Night.
Way, wayy, wayyy, wayyyyyyyyyy betta :D
No offence laa readers of twilight.
People got different taste. I've got different taste, so we're cool gyeah? :D

Hmmm, let's see...
Hags from Hell...
Hmm, not realy giving me any problems laa.
Oh gyeah, btw.

HAGS FROM HELL=MINAHS

Incase you didn't know...
I think i'm starting to 'Not Give A Fcukin Damn'
I mean, argh *______*
If they wanna see yo, let them see all they want.
Cause..
Wanna know what's running through their BRAINLESS MINDS?
Jealousy. Jealousy. Jealousy.
Yup, that's all there is in that thick brains of them *________*

If i have to choose... My instincts are the one i'm heading too.

2008-11-20T04:53:00.000-08:00

Okay.
Finished wit Untamed.
Damn, it's super duper crazy when that Hag from Hell,
Aka, Neferet, did that thingy at the end.
Stupid bitch *______*
I soooo can't wait for Hunted man!
There are gonna be alota serious butt kicking!
And the strugle to get a grip of House of Night from those montrous thingies.
Well, i bet Zoey can do it.
She's got her side-kick; Aphrodite.
Her best friends; Stevie Rae, Damien and his boyf, The Twins.
And her believers; Erik and those Red Fledgings, oh, not forgetting,
The Son of Erebus, Darius.
( Yes, Damien, IS gay. So? Doesn't mean gays can't have a space in this book -.- )

So, now.
Moving on to ma life.
Hah, don't know why.
I'm still receiving warning bells whenever i'm closed to her.
Somehow.. Someway.. My guts..
They're tellin me.. Not to get TOO close,
They're tellin me.. Not to trust 100%,
They're tellin me.. Not to utter any secrets to her.
They're tellin me.. Not to say anything bout ma "ehem".

(Don't even ask! I'm not tellin, NO MATTER WHAT!)

So, between that small voice in my heart vs the loud voice in my head.
I've choose the one from my heart.
Cause, i really, really, REALLY, ( no idea how to emphasise on that word nomore -.- )
have some major issues.
Well, one of them, which, i just found out recently....

Like, whenever that people like 'her',
Like, some of my friends, who now are popular.
Sadly, forget their old friends,
sadly, only come to you when they're in trouble or like feel loner.
Becomes all goody, goody wit me.
I'll repay them back,
extra, sparkly, nice, all angel-y attitude.
Gyeah, tell me bout it.
That's my worse, worse major issues.
So, i have to straigten that out.
That'll be at the top of my NEED TO DO list :D

i'll stand strong and fight whatever that's coming my way.

2008-11-19T23:35:00.000-08:00

Okay, the whole crappiness bout my life.
Is gettin from bad-worst-better.
Well, for now, it's better,
I'll bet when the time future comes, it'll be easy-peasy.
Reading Untamed has lighten and possibly,
Cleanse and tidy the 'inside' of me.
Pfft -.- i won't let whatever inside of me,
that's causin this tears, weird dreams, and a whole lotta shit behaviour
happen to me.
I'm gonna fight it, i'm not gonna let it take over me.
Aha, no damn fcukin way you dubu-dubu-dobo.

I'll do whatever it takes to fcukin be normal like i used to be -.-
Before this damn shit came.
No damn way this shit's gonna turn my life upside down.
No damn way this shit's gonna cause me mood-swings,
crappy attitude, the whole name callin on myself.
(Gyeah, the whole name callin came back again. *_______*)
No damn way this shit's gonna destroy my already perfect life.

NO FCUKIN WAY. OHO, NO WAY MAN.

Oho, damn right, it's messin wit the wrong person.

Oho gyeah, darn fcuk, i'm sick wit all those 'hags from hell',
lookin at me like i'm some kinda alien.
I swear, if i were, Zoey in the House of Nights series,
i would already zap you wit my affinities for all the elements.
Damn. Couldn't you guys, for one second.
Just one shit second, to not stare at girls walk pass by yo?!
Peeps, i'm not talkin bout guys -.-
I'm talkin bout those HAGS FROM HELL!

HAGS FROM HELL=MINAHS

Yes, i'm aware i'm super duper fugly.
Super duper, uber ridiculously humongous.
Do you guys really have to stare like that?!
Bee-jeez-us man *________*
Just let your fcukin eye rest on men laa.
Sucha doop. Oh yea.
While i was walking wit Hanis, at TM.
One hag from hell, stared at me like..
She made it way, way too obvious laa -.-
Hanis and i were exchanging glances at each other,
I was like, " What the bizauoos?"
Double, triple, pffffffffffttttttttttttttt -.-
You hags from hell needa seriously fine a new 'hobby' man.
If not, i'm tellin yo, yo faces are seriously gonna break dudetteS.

Shitty shitty life

2008-11-18T23:52:00.000-08:00

Well, let me summarise my life.
I-T-S
S-H-I-T-T-Y
S-H-I-T-T-Y
C-R-A-P-P-Y
C-R-A-P.
Get it?
Apart from my loved ones laa, they're not all those words.
Haishh.
It's like. I don't feel me.
You get it? I don't really feel like my old self.
And then, i can feel it. Inside of me, it's all messy.
It's like..
I'm like Stevie Rae in House of Night books.
She's dead, then Zoey helped her regain her humanity.
Then now, she's undead, and she's totally change.
It's like, she's a different person now compared to last time.
Now you get what i mean?
*_____________________*
And i know, i'm hurtin those people around me.
Including baby, i realy really was crappy just now.

I'm sorry. But alota shit is going on wit my life after that incident.
Everything is all messy in me.
I don't know why, i don't feel like ME.
So, pleaseee oh pleaseee just bear for awhile.
I'll try ta sort things out.
I hope you believe in me, and have faith in me, and confidence.
Cause i don't have any. Gyeah, whoop-tee-fcuk.

♥House of Night Series

2008-11-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

MARKED: FIRST.

BETRAYED: SECOND.

CHOSEN: THIRD.

UNTAMED: FOURTH.

HUNTED: FIFTH.

EACH BOOK COSTS 17.90

Lols, kinda looks like i'm promoting the book.

Hahahaha, Well, maybe :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Seriously ma, you guys gotta read the books.

It's highly addictive, super super cool, very dark and mysterious.

Now i'm currently reading UNTAMED.

Damn damn nice laaa.

Oh yea, the fifth book, which is HUNTED is comin out on May 09.

If i'm not wrong.

Whenever i'm bored.

I'll go to my room, sit on my bed.

Lean on my pillow, wit my two trusty side-kicks by my side ( ;D )

And then devour every single page of ma book

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I could have died

2008-11-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was like...
Whoa, damn damn scary.
Was playing wit Amierah at the swing.
When we're done, i went riding my bike.
Then suddenly, walao, like, everything all weird.
Plus wit ma cramps, then plus the sudden giddiness plus suddenly i felt all weak.
I tried ta force myself to ride.
Then really REALLY cannot tahan liao.
I stopped the bike. Then..
Wakao, when i stand up, my neck went all hot then come to my ear then face.
Then suddenly all blackout. I can't see anything.
I dropped to the floor, sitting down.
I was moaning and sorta crying a lil.
Then tried to stand up aota times, still, got blackout.
I called momma. She damn damn shock siol.
She came wit rose syrup.
She told me my hand was all cold.
And my body all very very weak de.

Then daddy went back from work. He insisted me go doctor.
I don't want. But he forced me. Pffft -.-
Crap wanna know what?
It's all cause of my diet.
He said if i continue having this diet, i may have some more blackouts.
Or worse. A permanent blackout that may damage my brain.

DANCEE DANCEE!

2008-11-15T21:49:00.000-08:00

Ahh.
Watchin Cheetah Girls 2 makes me wanna go back to dancing.
Well, momma won't let me.
So, that's why i picked up a new one.
Which is drums.
Well it's not really that bad.
Besides, i like drums.

Hell no, i LOVE drums.

But still, inside of me still loves dancing.
I still miss dancing.
Hah, no way am i gonna start bac.
Wit this kinda body that i'm having now?
Pfft, no way laaa -.-
Only tiny peeps are meant too.
Not like me. But....
I still wanna dance.
Double, triple pfffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt -.-

Life's a dragggggg.

2008-11-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

I WANT to be free, to be alone.

I HAVE to be free, to be alone.

I NEED to be free, to be alone.
Argh, why must she be sucha pain in the bum?
Which agent has told you i got a boyf?
Which dumbass agent has reported to you that i go out wit my boyf.
Eh hello.
Are you and your uncertified agent hallucinating?
Hello! Wake up hor! Stop hallucinating kay.
I'm not wit anyone okay -.- How many times must i convince you?!
I'M NOT SEEING NOR AM I WIT ANYONE.
Double pffffffffffffttttttttttttt -.- Forget it. No matter how hard i try to convince you.
You'll probably listen to that stupid agent of yours.
And mom, you should ask that agent of yours for refund laaa -.-
All those things she told you are CRAP. BULLSHIT. LIES.
For god's sake laaa mom. Have you check and recheck whether that agent is certified -.-
My god.

Needs more confidence.

2008-11-11T04:22:00.000-08:00

Hmm..
I really look up to Rui En's Character in the show ' By My Side'.
She has AIDS. But she lives her live to the full.
She lives her life everyday helpin patient wit AIDS.
She lives her life ignoring the fact that she has that disease in her body.
She continues living her life to the full. Eventhough, she knows, one day, she might not make it.
Now why can't i do that? ( I DON'T HAVE AIDS.)
It's just.. I have some low self confidence and low self esteem issues.
Last time, i would stare at the mirror. And keep on cursing hurtful words to myself.
Keep on punching my stomach.
Keep on saying,"Why are you such an ugly fat-ogre?".
Yes, it's that serious. And everyday, when i go out. I'll go out in fear.
Fear that others would make fun of me. Would stare and talk bout me.

Well, now. It has gotten ALOT better. Lucky me, i had my friends, my mei, baby, everyone helping me out.
I started exercising, cut down on sugary stuffs. Started snacking on fruits instead of chocs.
Well, i've lost alota weight.
And whenever, i look myself in the mirror. I kinda really like the girl staring at me.
Now i can see how gorg she really is.

Forgive me.

2008-11-09T23:46:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

SLEEPOVERRR

2008-11-07T02:48:00.000-08:00

Cousins evaded my houseee!
Lol, Kak pu3 and zul came to stay overnite.
Wasn't such a bore laaa compared to other days when i'm alone -.-
Cause, i'm THE ONLY CHILD.
Ahakz, she used the laptop for awhile.
Then here i am, my turn now :DDDDDDD
Now she's lying on my bed, seeing my drum notes. I bet she doesn't have a clue bout it. :DD

Admiring my fiance's foto now.
Lols! Kiddin laaa! I'm not engaged okay -.-
Hahahahahah! Just lookin at Kyle Burns' oh-so-hot fotos.
He's such....... He's too fiiine. I think he's the hottest drummer ever laaa!
In this generation, in my opinion only laaa! :DDDDDDDD
Slack slacking is what we're doing now. Nyahahaha, nothing better to do ba.

KYLEEE BURNNNSSS <3

2008-11-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

^^ Kyle Burns from Forever the Sickest Kids

Ain't he such a hotiiie?

Ain't he soo fiiiiiiine?

Wahhhh! He's mine ladies! M-I-N-E!

I saw him first! Nyeh nyeh! :P

First caught him in a video; Whoa oh! - Forever the sickest kids.

Damn DAMN hottttttttttttttttttttttt.

And his drums... in that video... is soooooo...

FCUKIN COOL AND CANTEK SIOLXZXZXZXZ.

The material like see through, then the colour is lime green.

Which is, my favourite colour! Duh -.-

Momma was like... "Ahh no, you're not gettin a new one. You just had yours. Plus, i don't think it is sold in Singapore".

Crappy crap, lucky me hah? Or should i say.. [UN]lucky me.

Double pffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttt. -.-

Whatever! Kyle Burns is my OWNAGE! MINE! NO ONES!

Muahahahaha, im evil. Darn right i am, (only for this case laaa) ;D

2008-11-03T07:36:00.000-08:00

Will be going to Batam.
Sleep at hotel for one night only. Will be back on Wednesday!

------ CIAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ------

Armageddon

2008-11-01T00:35:00.000-07:00

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww,

Ain't that movie Armageddon so touching and yet so scary?

Lols, when i was younger, i'd used to cry seeing it.

Hahahahaha, now if i were to cry. Like... paiseyy laaa. Hahaha.

You might think i'm weird or whatever, but i'll always save the crying for bed time.

Lols. I'm serious -.-

So now you know one of my deepest, most darkest, most weirdest secret.

I know i'm a cry baby laa. But i can't help it, paiseyy laa if momma or daddy see -.- Shucks laa.

The director of this movie is damn good sia, special effects all so cool.

Then the story line all very touching very sad. Hahahahakzxzx.

2008-10-31T00:57:00.000-07:00

Woho.
Bored peeps.
B-O-R-E-D.
Argh, lucky me. Rafi's talking to me. Lols.
So, i'm not so bored .. I guess? Hahahaha.
Was chatting chatting chatting. Then he decided that we played games laa on MSN.
Lols, ape lagi. Main ar siolxzxz. Hahaha, just to pass the time till i'm sleepy.
Nyahahaha.

You're the cause of my miserable life.

2008-10-30T03:44:00.000-07:00

Okay. Wow.
Was supposed to go out. Then didn't.
Don't wanna talk about it. I'm so pissed and annoyed now.
Kinda coz of this, but i'm not pointing fingers at you guys, get this STRAIGHT.
On the other hand. I'm soooo pissed at someone at home.
Wow, you just have to make my life miserable all day huh?
You said i changed. Gyeah, peeps mature la momma. What you expect?
For me to be under your armpit 24/7? For me to be that baby?
Pleaseee la momma, you knoe me darn well.

It's the hols.
I wanna go out. And you restrict me from doing so. You wanna shout and nag when that topic comes.
C'mon laaa. It's not like i been going out for 24/7. Hell, i have not even go out wit them laa.
Even cher say. This is the time for you to have fun. Have all the fun you have.
Does it bugs you to see me happy? See me cheery and all.
Things that are just a small matter, you wanna make it seem as tho i had sex -.-
Yes, it's that major. Why can't you just give me bac the freedom you've taken away from me:
And stop some of the things you're doing now:

___________RULES AND REGULATIONS____________

1) No restriction for me hanging out wit my friends.
2) Stop picking fights wit me.
3) Stop replying to my questions like you're some kind of pie kia. (who's not pissed when youre asking your momma damn nicely, and she replies back like some pie kia).
4) Stop making my mistakes appear like some big drama.(when it's only a small matter).
5) You stop talking to me in that manner, and i'll stop talking to you rudely.

2008-10-29T06:23:00.000-07:00

Okay best.
Besok i'm going out wit three of my hottest most gorgeous ladies;
Sheralyn, Jojo and Amierah.
Nyahahaha, all don't know where to go. So we'll decide tomorrow :DDDDDD
Really looking forward to it, since today. SomeONE just gave me attitude, can say the half day. Argh. I've had enough for today laa. Damn pissed off wit her.

2008-10-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

Yessssssaaaaaaa! At last i've got new clothes and new hood :DDDDDD Credits to miniLOLLIPOPS for the hood! Thank you oh so much! Love to buy from you again :DDDD Those who wants her url, ask me gyeah? :DDDDD Dont worry, she's nice :] Met her at amk mrt station. Hahakxzxz. Then went to Junction 8. I only intended to do some window shoppin, but then ended up buyin those tees. Nyahahahaha. Lol, a girl can't resist seeng those oh so pretty and cute tees couldn't they? Lols, maybe for me, cannot laaa. Hahahahaha.Oh yea! Then momma and i was eatin at Delifrance ar.. Then i saw a shoe, those black shoes wit rainbow-coloured hearts printed on them ^ ^ hehe. It was damn cute laa. Then i begged momma that was the last item i'll buy laaa. Haha, then she went and bought for me! Yeay! She also bought one for my niece, Hazeeqah. Hahahakzxz, it was white wit printed small lil kiddies on them. Argh, they're soo freakin cute laaa! Then took bus 53 from bishan interchange. Damn longgg ride laa. Nearly slept through the journey.. Huahuahuahua, okay imperfect earthlings. Gotta chiao. Nitey nite yaw :]

2008-10-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sooo loving my new hairstyle. Huahuahuahua.Baby saw my foto. He was like.."You look so different. More mature, more pretty". Lols, that's like.. EXACTLY what momma commented on my hairstyle. Then baby saw my blog. He didn't told me de. Then i haven't tell him bout my results, and he was like " Wah. it's good that you get A1. Then he said keep it up". Then baby teased me ar wit all those things i never tell him. Then then, got some parts like got drama ar.. Haha, no telling!! SHHHH! Lols. But now we're okay de. Everything is settled. I love him laa. He's liko soo understanding. Caring, so sweet. I mean i couldn't even believe his mine. Hahaxzxz. I love you baby!

new haircut; shut up gossip queens/kings

2008-10-25T01:54:00.000-07:00

Lollipops make me go all GuguGaga. .

Nyahaha. There you have it. Yup, that's my new haircut. Believe it or not. O thanks, i know it sucks. And i don't give a damn. Anyway, it's my life, my hair isn't it? So gossip queens/princes let those muscles on your mouth have a rest yea? Don't you know all things need a break? Coz it ain't gonna affect me. Haha, new haircut new attitude much. Lols. Okay, when i see this pics. It kinda reimnd me of my tuition cher; Kak heryani. Lols, serious. Haha, i don't know why but it does :DDDDDDD

2008-10-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

Hey earthlings!
Got my hair doneee! :DDDDDDDDDD whee~ now i can go out and let down my hair without caring what other's got to say. Nyahaha. Coz last time, my hair's sooo fcuked up. Lols, coz i alota time dye hair laa. First time was when im in Malaysia. Cuzzie wanted to dye her hair. Then i kena influence by her -.- ARGHH! Shoulda listen to mommy laassss.

That time, i was in Pri 6. Dyed sorta like light brown. It was the hols period ar. Then when hols finishing, was a coincidence walkin near that mall where i dyed my hair(at Malaysia), mommy took me there to dye my hair black again. Basket, the auntie never dye properly. Then went return to Singapore need dye again. Freakin dumbass laa. So terrible sia. Then my hair at the finishing end turned out to be like some bushy ugly hair laa. Idiotic laa.

What's done is done. Now i've got rebonded hair. Wit the way i wanted it to be cut; layered. And i've got a new fringe. Well last time was to the side then clipped to the back. Now i have BANNNGSSS! O hell yeah. I'm lovin me daddy coz he paid for it :DDDDDDDD

damn damn tired laaa.

2008-10-23T01:18:00.000-07:00

Yo earthlings. Got back results. Well im happy and not happy. i got one A1. Argh, how pathetic? -.- and the rest consists of mostly Bs and one F9; which is Geog. Miss Siti was like, " I expect better marks from you. And wit these results you can't go anywhere. Try to do better for Geography next year, I know you can..bla bla.."

Dont worry Miss Siti. Ill do my best. Ill study and i mean really gonna study. No more follin around. No more computers. No, no. Man, i hope im really gonna turn over a new leaf sia. I wanna go JC or either Poly. But mommy encourages me to go JC as it takes shorter time. And im interested in Psychology. So, gyeah. Damn i hope i can make it to JC. Then Uni to further my studies in Psychology and maybe someday me some famous Psychiatrist :DDDDD DO WATCH OUT FOR ME YEA?! Haha, sooo over confident. Lols.