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The most powerful weapon
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Usually victims who are suffering from teasing and anorexia, will be trapped in a pit full of a machines that suck out and put down on your confidence level.And somehow, their mind will eventually think the same way as you do.
Ask them what are the flaws they have? And they can just tell you every single thing.
They'll take desperate meausures to fit in the 'It' crowd. You know, like those Hags from Hell. Those who think they are soo high standard. All beautiful, all smexy, all hot and stuffs.
But in truth, which guy would like that type of girl? Who has the looks but not the nice hearts.
I admit, not all are like that, SOME.
Okay, so, going bac to what i said. Gyeeeah, they'll do dangerous things. Like skip meals, constantly purging out the food they eat.
And every single day, they'll go to the mirror, and cry and wished she was born skinny already.
You peepos, who does hurt others. You can't see the pain they're going thru, but trust me. If you do know what they're doing, you're gonna regret your whole life.
Would YOU like to be make fun of? Would you wanna have this terrible and scared feeling to not go out but to stay at home? Because you're scared that peepos will laugh at you and stare at you? Have this paiseyy feeling whenever you walk in a shop to try dresses, you have to ask for L or XL.
Would YOU like that? And, to have no confidence in whatever you're doing.
C`mon man, so what if they're fat? Eh, hello. Big peepos are wayy, wayyy beautiful then those skinny girls okay -.-
They are beautiful INSIDE AND OUT. So? You want every peepos in this world to be a size ZERO then you'll shut your mouth up?
You want YOUR OWN girlf to be all bones? To hug her and feel her ribcage? To kiss her and feel the hardness of it?
If YOU are like that.. Wowwww, i have nothing to say. It's your taiji, not mine. But i'm just trying to knock some sense into you.
Oh gyeeeah, curvy girls ain't fat okaaay. They're hot as hell, wayy, wayyyy hotter then those Hags from Hell that are skinny; all bones. Like i said, SOME of em, NOT ALL.
I don't understand how some of you can find em FAT? Oho, is there something wrong wit your eyesight or something?? Seeeeriously, go and have it check okaaaay? :]
And peepos who have kena teased. It's hard riiight to build up the confidence? I know, i've been thru it. For mayb 4-5 years? Gyeeeah, i was damn huge during primary school.
Want see my foto? Go see laa, Loyang Sec, 6.3. Under P6; cause that time damn huge. My weight didn't bug me that time.
Gyeeeah, boys constantly tease me, but don't know why, i'll only go home cry and slash then next day i'll eat.
But when i stepped in Secondary. Wowwww, it got worst. The impact was reeeally hard, like having a few slaps in the face at one short. So i took a risk; i skipped meals.
One whole month i didn't eat properly, i'll either dont eat, or only eat oe or two times one day; but it's in small proportions.
And that time i lost weight, it seems like no one noticed, so i tried it again. (Un)Fortunately, mommy told me to do it the right wy; have a balanced diet, balance the level of activity wit the amount of food i eat, cut down on sugary stuffs, snack on fruits instead of tidbits..
And now, sme of my relatives told me not to be skinny no more, cause if not i'll look old and haggered.
But i didn't care, i want be skinny, all pretty. I want be like thos models.
Those 'It' girls.
Some peepos think i'm fat. But in truth, i have big bones, that make me look fat. Hah.
You see, that's how it will affect peepos. Eventho you see, she's already the ideal weight, the perfect figure. She still won't trust you.
She'll keep on skipping meals, growing more thinner, and thinner, and thinner, till she'll die of Anorexia.
Labels: Be Strong, Low confidence
//Worthless piece of junk
Sunday, March 22, 2009
She seems young, vibrant, full of life. She seems like a young but a strong swan, a young gladiator that doesnt give up easily.That stands strong wit the sword in her right hand and a shining shield that sparkles brilliantly from afar. She shows no mercy to these problems that are flying in her way from all different directions.
You look up to her, you wished you were like her. All strong, all powerful like a beautiful Amazon Warrior. An Amazon Warrior that's full of confidence in everything she does.
But, in truth she's just as scared as you, or maybe even more afraid then you are.
Inside her, everything's destroyed. Everything is not left healing, but bleeding. Everywhere she goes, whoever she's wit, whatever she does.
She's hurting and tearing peepos apart. It's like, there's this curse in her blood.
The only way for her to get it out, is by draining every single blood out from her body. That way, the curse is out. And, she's doing that. Slowly... ..
Maybe you think she have to be placed in somwehere, where she doesn't have any encounter wit humans. So, she'll rot in there.
I agree too. This 'curse' is killing her. Everyday she wakes up.
Wishing the 'curse' will dissapear magically. She doesn't deserve to be treated nicely.
She isn't worth anyone's time. She's a stupid, useless piece of junk. She doesn't worth loving. No, this ain't a story i plan to write. This is a true story. She lives near you.
.... and that girl.
.... is me.
"Who knew a wrong mistake would turn out like this.
Who knew that you, who i lean on, would hurt this much.
Only an ocean of sadness (and) dark loneliness exists.
I can only cry like a littile kid lost in the balck darkness"
That's EXACTLY how i feel now, no wonder i keep crying over and over again, crying uncontrollably. Credits to Big Bang for the lyrics...
Labels: soon., Until Whenever, Whole world be against me
F.S.K.M ROCKSSSS HARDCOREEE!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Wowwwww, first time get to experience singing LIVE on Vict. Hall. Once you step in, it'll give you this kind of 'ancient, yet beautiful' aura.Hah, all of us were going all '....wowwww, eh nice sia!'. Hahahaha, gyeeeah, jakon siakk, lolssss.
But still, what you expect? First timer mar we all ;D Hahaha. I don't mean to be rude or anything laa, but i always had this idea that Vict. Hall will be damn, damn big.
But the sitting quite limited laa, hahaha, maybe when the actual day comes.
Then probably i'll see how huge it is. Lolsssss. Some more i stand in front de le -.- Waaaaalao, jia lat man *____* Mr Tan laa, ask me go change place wit Yixuan.
GRRRRR.
(Let's skip this boringgg part ^^)
So, so when to TM wit Maple, Sheeda, Kia Hwee and Cristie. Hahaha, had lunch there, lolsss.
Waaa, that Cristie hah, i tell you, can eat alot but won't get fat, so good riiight?? I envy you lerrrrrrrr!
Hahahaha, i tell you hah, go out wit them right.. Not one minute will we be seen not laughing like siao girls, or like drunk girls ;D
Hahahaha, gyeeeah, we're that craaazy :D I love them laa!! Closest friends in LYSS, one of the reasons of my existence, hahahaha!
Lolsss, awwwwwwww, so deep. Then after lunch walked, walked around, hmm, i'd call it 'window shopping', lolsss.
Then kinda halfway, Cristie had to head home, sad D: Then said our tatas, then kinda headed home.
Hahahah! Oh, oh before that i went and bought one shirt :D Hahahah, damn cute laa, but suey -.-
The white tee is kind of translucent -.- Waaaalao, all bra coloured le -.- Confirm can see laa.
Then must go hunt for plain white tee -.- Arghhhhh, soo mafan. Grrrrr.
Labels: F.S.K.M+Cristie, Vict. Hall
Stooop`piddd Warning Bellsssss.
Monday, March 16, 2009
If you receive warning bells, would you answer it or would you ignore it? I don't know why, but, maybe, it's my nature to always ignore it whenever im face to face wit the warning bell.But, when i ain't face to face wit it. I make a promise to myself that i'll avoid the thing that i'm receiving warning bells from.
Once, im infront of it, arghhhh, god.
I become soo ubber nice to it, soo very nice...
And i end up crying. Crying so hard, not able to calm myself down.
Despite all those histories, i still haven't learn my lesson? Why?
Is it because i'm afraid that my feelings aren't true? Afraid of humiliation? When everyone knows you were wrong?
But if so, i can always ask for clarification, right?
But why am i afraid to ask? Haishhhhh. And those igonorance..
Those words i said... Maybe it's true you are like that? Maybe that's why those hatred feelings i have answer why i'm ignoring you?
I don't know for sure what's right... This all started after the incident i was giving cold shoulders to someone.. Then, from then on, this feelings start developing on you. Dont know...
Labels: give me strength. Burninggg Questionsss., God
Biggggg`Banggggg!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Daaaaaaamn, i think i really, really gone way, wayyy gugu gaga over Bigggg`Banggg.
Hehehehehe, today skipped Madrasah, was too lazy. Besides, Alysha<3>
Hahaha, yessss, yesss i know, the second foto is damn, damn, cute.
It won't be any fun w/o her laa, she today going M`sia. Grrrr!
I'm sooo gonna miss her truckloadsss ler! 'Alyshaaaaaaa! When you come bac, we seriously have to go out man D:'
So, technically, half the day? ( I guess.. ..) was on the comp. Was searching my usual stuffs :D
Bigggggggggggggg`Bangggggggggggggggg! God, TOP is seriously dead gorgeous laa!
Lolsss! I forgot, he does belongs to me ;D Kekekeke.
Hahahaha, god. Now i find G-Dragon cute *___* Hahaha, what the hell.
I soooo wanna join Biggg`Bangg de VIP laa, but then the thingy like complicated D:
Then i don't dare join first, wanna ask my cuzzy help me then i join :D
Oh gyeeeeah baby, i found some more songs from Biggg`Banggg ^^ Whee~
Been playing all those songs every single day laa, on comp plus on fone.
Hahaha, i think momma also know some of the parts of the song laa, but lucky she quite into `em ;D
I guess daddy's the one suffering laa, hahaha :P He'll be like '..eh, you know what they talking meh?? Haiyo, so crazy over chinese guys..'
Heh! Got subtitle laa daddy! Yessss, yessss, not chinese, but KOREAN :D
Especially Choi Seung Hyun aka TOP; he's just oh so super, duper, dee-duper spiiiicy :D
Shit laaaaa. I think i gain weight liao laa, but then that time i checked my weight. I lost 2kg over around one or going to two months..??
Fcuk laa, i still feel fat and think i am fat. Grrrrr, irritating.
Nevermind, i'll start skipping meals. If June hols i can do it, no reason for me not able to do it during this one week.
Labels: Biggg`Banggg; forever and always. How do i look like from the outside?
Bigggg, bigggg improvement this year
Gyeeeeah! Bought that cute dress while shopping wit Amierah<3
Waaaaa`lao, dont know to ya'll laa. But it's sorta worth it.
Cause, cause, we roamed all places the price was like, 78.00++??
At Isetan more worth it siol, seeeeeerious -.-
Stoooop`piddddd. Liverpool freaggin beat manchester 4-1. Arggghhhh!
Whateverrrr, manchester's still on TOPPP! STILL. ON. TOP!
Hahahaha, as you peepos can see, i've achieved: four a1s, two a2s, 2 b4s and i c5.
Hahahaha. Not to brag or anything lerrrrr *____* Basket! No matter how hard i try`ta do well in Eng. I always, never fail to get c5 -.-
Naaaaaaaaaa`bei. Why soo freaggin hard sia???
In pri it was like damn, damn easy to get A for Eng and malay laaaa.
Labels: Then why do this tears still flow? Stoooop.pidddd
I love you grandpapa, you'll always be remebered.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Sunday, 07 March, dearest grandpapa departed.Finally, all his sufferings he has been through, has ended.
I love you grandpapa. May you find peace, serenity, and a beautiful life in the other world.
It's the second, i'm missing you. Why? Why leave before i had the chance to meet you?
Why? S`okay. I still can meet you when it's my time to leave this Earth.
I'll be lookingg forward to see you grandpapa.
Al-fatihah for his soul.
May he find happiness ever after in Heaven.
We will all miss you.
We love you.
Labels: Last Farewell
Randommm.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Wowwwww. It's been so freeeakin long since i posted D:My blog's deeeeead peepos! Nooooooooo.
Hahaha. Naw, it's not dead. I'm gonna re-birth it bac ;D
Found the purrr`fect skin i wanted, went and change my URL too.
Hehehe, nothing to do laas. Oh gyeeeeah.
I'm soo freeeeakin stupid le -.- I forgot to copy, paste then save the code for putting in the music w/o it being visible.
Dammmmn, dammmmmn stupid laa *______*
Whoop-tee-fcuk, now have to find high and low whether other blogskins got the code.
Eeeeeeee`yeeee. So sian D:
Labels: Reeee`link. Reeee`birth.